Dress Policing in India: I cannot remember when was the first time I ever wore a pair of jeans. They have always been a part of my wardrobe. I do remember one specific incident though. Once my grandfather spoke to me about the restrictions women had to face when he was young. "And now look at you, you wear your hair short, drive all day on your scooty, wearing jeans!" There was no malice in his voice, or amusement, just pure indulgence of an unorthodox grandfather, who loved to see his granddaughter do as she pleased. Then yesterday, I read about a teen girl from Uttar Pradesh, who allegedly died at hands of her uncles and grandfather, simply because she refused to give up on wearing jeans.
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That's the India that we live in. Girls and women coming from oppressive homes have to die for defying patriarchal dictates. Those who are fortunate, like me, thank their stars, thoroughly indebted by the luxury of freedom that is granted to them by their families. That's correct, a basic right- to choose what you can wear, to wear what you like, and to not have to worry about the approval of your family or society, is a big luxury only a handful of women in our country can afford.
The teen from Deora, whose body was found hanging from a bridge on Kasya-Patna Highway, after a failed attempt to dispose it, had taken to western wear during a brief stay at Ludhiana with her parents. Once she was back home with her mother, the elders in her family disapproved of her affinity to jeans, leading to rifts. On July 19, the differences lead to a full blown confrontation between the girl, her grandfather and two of her uncles, who wanted her to revert to wearing Indian clothes. In the ensuing scuffle, the girl reportedly hit a wall and bled to death. Her grandfather has been arrested in connection with her death, while the hunt is still on for her uncles. Read more on the case here.
When I read about the case, it reminded me of numerous girls and women I have known throughout my lifetime. Girls who got to wear their first pair of jeans when they came to live in hostel, far away from the prying eyes of their family. Women who were excited about a Goa holiday because they would get to wear skirts and shorts, something that wasn't allowed back in sasural. Young women who grabbed their duppatta to cover their chest the first thing in the morning when they woke up, even before putting on their glasses or brushing their teeth. Stories I had heard from girls about how even the necklines of their kurtas had to be approved by mums and aunts. How uncles and padosis held the right to comment on or complaint about their clothes to their parents- her kurti is so tight, how can you allow her to wear capri, that top is way too short, she is "too old" to be wearing short skirts now.
It is a tragedy that dress policing only catches our attention when some community passes a "no jeans" diktat for girls or when a teen's life is heartbreakingly cut short in such a gruesome way, simply because she wanted to wear what she likes, instead of the clothes that her elders approve of. Millions of girls face what this girl from Deora was facing every single day. Most of them simply give into the verbal and physical oppression wielded on them, burying their cherish pair of denims in dark corners of their cupboards. Never to be worn again, only to be gazed at wistfully. If only...
No girl should have to pay the cost of wearing clothes of her choices with her life. But then no girl should have to face dress-policing to begin with. But things won't change unless our society sees the unfairness in dress policing. How do you even curb a practice which isn't seen as oppressive, and infact touted to be for women's "own good"?
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