Desire For Sex, Body Hair And Other Things That Don't Make A Woman "Dirty"

Society has very strict guidelines for women when it comes to their conduct. They are expected to talk, walk, speak, sleep, dress and even dream in a certain way. A woman who follows these guidelines religiously is a "good" woman. The one who doesn't must then have her existence policed- she is judged for her actions and proclaimed to be a "bad" or a "dirty" woman. But hold on a second, did you know, that there are times when no matter how "good" you are, you stand at risk of being called dirty?

Yes, it seems as if no matter what women do, how rigorously they live by gendered stereotypes, all it takes is a biological function to be labelled as impure and be cast aside. Don't touch the pickle during your periods, don't go to the temple, don't enter the kitchen.

It is time that we accepted that there is no such thing as a "dirty woman", it is just an orthodox society's way to police women's bodies and ensuring that they behave and live in a certain way.

So here are five things that don't make you a dirty woman:

Sexual desires

In a society where sex in itself is a taboo, one can only imagine the amount of contempt women desiring sex will be met with. Especially in case of unmarried women, sexual activity is often looked at with a tint of shame and judgment while applauding sexual prolificacy in men. But married women do not have it any better. They are conditioned to believe that sex for them should not be about their own desires, but those of their husband and of course, procreation.

Wanting sex or talking about it is natural and absolutely okay. It doesn't make you a bad woman or doesn't put a strain on your character. It is those who discredit women for being vocal about sex that we must just for their hypocrisy.

Body Hair

Remember the song 'Raam Ji ki chaal dekho' of the movie Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram Leela and how Ranveer Singh danced with unshaved armpits and how it was so normal for everyone. But why isn't this the case when it comes to women? Have we ever seen a woman flaunt her body hair and unshaved armpits on the silver screen? Women who do not wax or shave their body hair are said to be unhygienic but the same is not the case with men.

Men can freely roam around with hair on their chest, hands, legs, etc. and no one will ever judge them but a woman has to get rid of her body hair to look presentable and hygienic. Body hair is something that is natural for both men and women so if it isn't dirty for men to remain unshaved or unwaxed, the same standards apply for women too.

Periods

A woman on her ">period is considered 'impure' or 'dirty' in many cultures. Many women in India are still not allowed to enter the kitchen or temples or visit any religious place if they are menstruating. They are not allowed to touch anything considered pure or pristine.

Unfortunately, a woman on her period is seen as dirty or impure and menstruation is still a taboo. It's high time we understand that menstruation is normal and doesn't make women dirt or impure in any sense.

Suggested Reading: What Women Can’t Do: Social Media Users Share Stereotypes They Were Subjected To

Staying Out Late At Night

A clock is always on in a woman's heads when she goes out. The character of a woman or her status that a she is good or bad is often determined by the hands of the clock. Apparently, staying out late is not what women belonging to reputed households do.

Women who stay at night are slut shamed and this clearly doesn't apply to men. They do not have any time limits to adhere to. They are not judged for staying out late or at night. Worse, in case of sexual crimes, "why was she out so late" is seen as a valid argument to justify actions of the perpetrators, thus putting the blame squarely on women.

Staying out late doesn't make a woman a slut or "dirty". It is the society that must hang its head in shame, for it has failed to ensure that women can stay out late and be safe. Lock your boys, if you have to, not your girls.

Casual Relationships

Society cannot bear women in casual relationships. It cannot get over the ideal bahu image of women, as it mandates them to marry, settle down, have children and thus keep the wheel of patriarchy turning.

A woman in a casual relationship is seen as a slut because according to patriarchy, her womb is where her reputation and that of her family rests. She must use her to help create a linage via the virtue of monogamy (marriage).

Times have change, we are more than our wombs and vagina. We have the right to demand pleasure in sex, and companionship on our terms. And if we are not ready to settle down, seeking casual companionship is practical, not dirty.

Views expressed are the author's own.