Why Are We Still Debating Over 'Wife Things' And 'Girlfriend Things'?

We often see people labelling things as something a wife would do and something a girlfriend would do. More than often, these things are different from each other. However, why do we still have different standards and labels for wives and girlfriends and do we really need them?

You might have come across many videos on social media that would describe certain things a girl would do and end with, 'If she does that, wife her up'. But have you ever stopped to think about why we expect women to behave differently as wives and girlfriends? Even in movies and songs, we would see girls doing things and dressing differently when they are dating the guy versus when they get married. Leaving the topic of dressing up as a discussion for later, let's discuss the behavioural changes society expects women to have. Though lifestyle changes are expected after marriage because you are making your relationship legal, changes in personal behaviour are a choice.

Suggested Reading: Dear Women! Don't Compare Each Other, Embrace Sisterhood

Society's Obsession With the 'Difference Between Wife And Girlfriend'

A Reddit thread on @AskWomen asked the users, "What are some things you consider “wife” things instead of “girlfriend” things?". Many users in the comment section talked about the legal and financial part of transitioning from girlfriend to wife. A user wrote, "Wife things (for me personally): buying a house together, having children". Another one wrote, "Anything that's going to bind me to you financially is wife shit". Users also talked about being considered a close family in times of need and other patriarchal 'wifey' things. A comment, however, talked about how girlfriend things were an expense while wife things were an investment.

The comment said that when a wife cooks, feeds, takes care of, earns, advises and plans decisions together with the partner, it is an investment in a relationship. Meanwhile, when a girlfriend does that, it is an expense as she is making time for the partner while she could save it for herself. Somehow, as a wife, the relationship becomes an obligation while the girlfriend has no such obligations as well as responsibilities.

However, marriage is not supposed to bind or restrict a woman's life. Surely there are going to be legal and lifestyle changes but it doesn't always mean that you need to compromise your personal life and rights like financial freedom and time for yourself. Marriage will bring responsibilities to both partners which will naturally force them to make certain choices but they don't always have to leave something entirely like going out with friends or working jobs.

When it comes to emotional support, a relationship relies heavily on it and it doesn't require any label to support a person emotionally. A person might be more comfortable with sharing certain things with a wife and not a girlfriend but that again is an indication that there is somewhere uncertainty in the relationship that is stopping the other person to be vulnerable. When you are certain and clear about your feelings, then you can be present significantly in your partner's life and they will lean on you in times of crisis, emotional support, family issues and life advice, whether you are married or not.

This idea is not superficial as we have many popular couples backing it up like Cristiano Ronaldo and Georgina Rodriguez who have a happy family and life together and support each other despite not being married. It is their firm belief in each other and their relationship that they don't need a label. Another example is Dylan Sprouse and Barbara Palvin who are again an adored and powerful couple. They are not married but does that mean that they don't emotionally support each other, they have not met each other's family, and they don't have property or assets together? No.

These couples will hardly have any change in their behaviour even if they get married because they are comfortable with the way they are and their relationship. They are stable and trust each other and that's all it takes for them to take their relationship seriously. No worldly labels or behavioural traits define their relationship status. And neither should it define anyone's relationship. If you know they are the right person, there is nothing such as a wife or girlfriend, you can be your true self with them.