Dear Nosy Relatives, Here Are Some Things We'd Like To Say To You

Let's face it. Is a desi family really truly even desi without at least a few nosy relatives? We've all got them. Stuck to our lives with alarming authority much like that pesky pimple sitting right in the middle of your forehead and refusing to leave.

They have superpowers, such that prevent them from taking cognisance of their limits. Blissfully overstepping those boundaries of privacy and basic decency, they take full advantage of even the slightest connection to you on the giant family tree to ask the most outrageous things about the most outrageous things ever, from marriage to job to &t=2s">sex. There is just no filter.

But no more. For every out-of-step remark they make hence, let's hit them with what we as single, fiery youths are best at - memes.

Here is your ultimate guide for every time those nosy relatives poke their noses, fingers, eyes, ears into your peace.

1. For uncles who ask: "beta, how much do you earn?"

But with nosy relatives, you just never know. They may take this as a lead to their next question and ask, "Acha, business start kiya hai apna?"

2. For that aunty who says, "You've gained so much weight. If you don't lose it, how will you look pretty?"

That's right aunty. The license to your 'bhaari gyaan' expired years ago. This generation has travelled far past any need for it. Attaching identity value to insignificant factors like weight or looks or skin colour isn't fashionable anymore. And that's all the 'gyaan' that's important anymore.

3. When you're told to 'cover your head' when there's an older relative around

You didn't say how I had to cover it. And anyhoo, I don't have to necessarily do it if I don't want to. If you force me to, be ready for the fabulousness.

4. To that relative who says, "Sure, you can work after marriage. But only if your husband allows you"

Can work, but not without permission. Can wear "modern" clothes, but not too modern. Enough with the terms and conditions, nosy relatives! No one ever reads them even.

5. To those nosy relatives who say, "How selfish! Why can't you compromise on some things?"

Yes, we're all about self-love. Because prioritising your dreams, your aspirations, your happiness and your own life over other people's is not selfish.

6. And that relative who puts salt on your wounds by asking, "If you have a boyfriend, bata do. We will get you married to him."

WHY AUNTY WHY? Why did you even have to bring this up!? It opens the floodgates to memories of heartbreaks and failures and cringeworthy crushes and an impossibly long singlehood that I had stowed away in the darkest corners of my head. Thanks aunty, for reminding me of all that lost love.

7. Last but not least, the nosiest ones who ask: "So, when are you getting pregnant?" 

Aunty! You preached all my life that 'good Indian girls' stay away from evils of sex and boys and whatnot. And now you make a turnaround on everything to ask me when I will have sex with a boy and get pregnant and have babies.

Did you just admit you were wrong for labelling girls with agency and independence over their bodies as 'bad women' in the first place? Okay, you said it, no takebacks, proud of you.

Views expressed are the author's own.