Dear Bua, We Can't Bear To Hear These 7 Regressive Taunts Anymore. So Please Stop.

You can easily spot them at weddings and family functions. All they do is pull you down and lower your confidence with their sexist remarks. Our desi aunties, aunts and buas and their gangs won’t stop passing comments even after they know we aren't interested in entertaining them.

It's a request to all aunts to try investing their time in other fruitful chores instead of taunting their nieces for their clothes, their boyfriends, they career over marriage and all of that.

7 regressive taunts desi aunts must stop making

1. You are old enough to get married/ settle down

What's old enough? We know you got married young and may be you didn't have a choice but you would agree at 16, 18, 21 one can do better things with one's life than getting married? Stop pressurising your nieces. Women today have bigger and better goals like careers, travel etc.

Marriage can wait but our jobs cannot. Can you please leave it to us to decide if and when we would like to tie the knot?

2. You've put on weight...

Bodies are not meant to be "perfect" or "flawless". They are just supposed to be "real". There's nothing better than brushing off all insecurities and accepting your body just as it is. But do desi aunts let that happen? No.

They'll look for an excuse to make you conscious about your body type. Worst of all, they'll treat the fact as though it is a "disease" that needs "medication". I am fine in my own skin, I love my body and feel fit. So please spare me this.

3. You're done with your studies. How come are you still jobless?

Looking for a job and getting hired takes time bua. Moreover, we are all battling with a life threatening pandemic at the moment. Companies are not readily accepting our applications and there are a lot of other factors which has forced us to stay jobless (such as putting our mental health and physical wellbeing ahead of a job that needs physical office presence?). And you know what, it's okay to take a break sometimes. Let us figure things out by ourselves if you cannot guide us.

4. Bola tha Science lena, bahut scope hai

'Scope' is not everything we look for while choosing a stream. Interest in the subject, ability to pursue it, how well we can score...and many other factors matter when deciding to go in for a course. Once we have successfully completed our studies, we can look for scopes or learn something new for better opportunities.

Arts lo toh problem. Science lo toh problem. But biggest problem of them all? 'Kitna padegi?' 'Who will marry a studious girl?' or 'Where will we find a more educated boy than her to marry her?'

5. Humare zamaney mein...

There's a lot that happened in 'your zamana' but it's not the same time anymore. Those dialogues and conversations are super for nostalgia over chai or a laugh over at the past but not for lectures. Women are trying to be independent, think independent and are also forming their perspectives and opinions.

6. What kind of clothes are you wearing?

Hawwwww. 'Just the kind of clothes we are comfortable in, bua.'

Good girls were good clothes. Bad girls wear bad clothes. Years will pass by but desi aunts won't stop making cliché remarks over clothes and character. Our clothes don't define the person we are. And there is nothing wrong in wear short, long or whatever type of clothes we want.

7. That boy with you, is he just a friend?

What if he is not 'just' a friend? Your aunts will try to give you advices over who you should befriend thinking of it as a 'responsibility'. But we do not need their suggestions. We are adults and can choose our own friends and partners. Is it very difficult for them to stop interfering in our lives and look after their own selves?

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