Don’t we all have moms, aunts and sisters (or maybe even you) who hold onto things like clothes from when you were a baby, a gift that was never put to use (but is still there because someone gave it to her), her mom’s sarees which she never wore, boxes, carry bags, envelops, gift wrappers, glass bottles of all shapes and sizes?
I know many women who hoard things and are afraid to let go. Are you turning into your mom and have started hoarding and cluttering your life? Well, let’s find out the reasons why women hoard and add clutter to their life.
Decluttering: A feeling of guilt
Your best friend gave you something or a visiting relative gifted you something but you have not used it yet and have kept it in your cupboard or a trunk. You do this because you feel bad that someone has gone the length of bringing you a gift so you cannot dishonour it. There may be many reasons that the item may not have been a fit for you and has become clutter in your home.
Think of it from this perspective, when you give someone else a gift, would you want them to hold onto the gift even when they don’t want or need it because they feel it’ll hurt you and can’t get rid of it? As for me I know I definitely don’t want to burden people that way. Gifts are for the benefit and pleasure of the receiver. If the item is not beneficial then one shouldn’t keep it. Shouldn’t you follow the same thought process with other people’s gifts?
Trying to hold onto the past
This reminds me of so many movies where characters keep opening trunks and boxes full of stuff from the past in the attic or storerooms. There are people who will keep things as they hold sentimental value and are trying to hold onto the past. That can be past memories, experiences, or people who are no longer with us. I personally keep my father’s pen and my mother’s wrist watch by my bedside. But that doesn’t take that much space so I am okay with it.
But we have to remember the memories live on regardless of whether or not we keep every item from along our journey. It is best to choose what is most meaningful and let go of the rest. Give them away to someone who will use them. Please remember there is so much freedom to be found in letting go.
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Not sure of how to get rid of clutter
You may want to get rid of all our hoarding but don’t know how. I’ll tell you what works for me. Since my husband is in a transferable job we keep moving every 2-3 years. So, when we get our next posting and I have to start packing my household I make two piles each time, that which I want to take with me and the other which I don’t and I distribute it to whoever wants it. It could be anything from kitchen utensils, an old oven to toaster, decorative items, leftover crockery sets etc. What you need to do every now and then is to make two piles, one that you can give away the other to just throw it in the trash.
We might use it later
How many of us do that? I do, mostly its clothes for me. I will keep that dress or denims hoping to fit in as soon as I lose some weight. One rack of my wardrobe was full of such clothes. One fine day I decided if I lose weight then I will gift myself new denims and dresses why should I wear old ones. They’ll be out of fashion too. I did not keep a single piece and gave them all away to the girl who looked after my daughter while I was in office.
As for other things there is one rule to be followed. If you did not use something in the last 3 years please realise that maybe you don’t need that stuff. Please get rid of such items before sentiments start playing up.
When one cannot decide
Not being able to take decisions is the biggest hurdle to decluttering. When one decides to get rid of hoardings then there are many decisions to be taken. Making decisions is hard and takes a lot of energy, for some people at least. You should start with the easiest things first. Work your way up to those rooms in your home that have stuff that you know will be harder for you to decide.
Here are three points to keep in mind when deciding - Do you use it? Do you love it? Do you want it to be part of your life going forward? And start the process today. These hoardings took years to build up, so don’t fret it will take time to totally declutter. But at the end by letting go you will have a cleaner, well-organised home and decluttered mind as well.
Views expressed are author's own
Feature Image credit: iStock