Why Do We Need To Talk More About Dealing With Rejection

In Ghaziabad, a woman was arrested because she allegedly killed her partner. According to the reports, the woman slit her partner’s throat for refusing to marry her. The two were in a live-in relationship. On Sunday night, during routine checking, Teela Mod police found the girl with a black suitcase in which she had stuffed her boyfriend’s body. This is not the first time that rejection led to horrid consequences like death and murder.

Why are romantic rejections ending into such horror stories? Why are we unable to see rejection as a choice of the other person? Why do people take rejection as an unrepairable dent to their egos?

Read more about the Ghaziabad case here.

Why is it difficult for us to deal with rejections in romantic relationships?

In April, a man in Uttar Pradesh’s Gorakhpur killed a 22-year-old woman for rejecting his proposal. Then in May 2021, a 21-year-old girl died by suicide because her classmate refused and started ignoring her and changed his attitude after asking her to marry him. The list is long. But the question that remains unanswered is why such an extreme reaction? Why are youngsters not able to deal with rejections?

Relationships are part of our lives. We all need that someone who can provide us love and care. We all find someone attractive and suitable for the kind of support we are looking for in life. But what we tend to forget is that falling in love with someone is our choice. If we fall for someone, it doesn’t mean the other will also love us in that way. Both parties have the freedom to make the choice of staying in or walking out of a relationship.

Due to our tendency to forget the other party’s agency to decide whom they want as partners, we start interpreting rejection as rude, painful and even a reason for self-loathing. This kind of behaviour is irrespective of the person's gender.

Dealing With Rejection: how can we channelise the pain positively?

Rejection hurts. It is only normal that a person feels sad after someone they loved and wanted to be a part of their life doesn't reciprocate. But is it right to unleash the pain and aggression on one self or on others? Is it right to hold the other person responsible for hurting the feelings? What about their choice?

The problem is we are never taught that rejections are a part of life. Being aware of the feeling of rejection beforehand will help a person in channelising their pain into doing something good for themselves or others.

Rejection is a phase in life. Overcome; don't succumb

Let us understand that rejection is just a phase in life and not the end of life. Break-ups, reactions and fights in relationships should be dealt with maturity. The sadness due to rejection should be about a dream that couldn’t be achieved not about guilt, victimisation or dented ego. Ups and downs, acceptance and rejections and relationships and breakups are a part of life. It is these paradoxes that keep life moving because if there are no challenges to overcome, then how will you become a better version of yourself? So jam to classic break-up and rejection songs, talk to people about rejection, share your pain and try to avoid loneliness and letting it turn into something that you will regret later.

The views expressed are the author's own.