Dating after a breakup can be tricky since many times, people may be holding onto past traumas and may need time to recover the emotional strength needed to build and sustain relationships. That is why many times rebound relationships hardly work. The partners are usually unable to put in healthy efforts and emotions for the relationship to grow. Women on the internet discussed why is it so important to take time away from dating after breakup.
Breakups can be messy and hurtful. People may need a lot of time recovering from a tough breakup if they were very emotionally invested. However, they often seem to forget the part where they should be taking time for themselves and helping themselves get out of a bad space. So they jump right into dating after breakup. People tend to believe that their emotional trauma can be healed easily if they find someone to be with. However, that is not true in every case. Many times people may need time to let go of the past. While dating after a breakup might work for some, others may have a messy relationship if they rush into dating right after a bad breakup because of the unhealed emotional distress.
In a Reddit thread, women shared why taking time away from dating after breakup helps in order to form strong bonds further. A Reddit user wrote that she would not want to carry the old feelings into a new relationship and risk it. "Even if the last one was dead things such as resentment, or insecurity could linger longer than we anticipated," she further said.
ThePlaguedSummoner wrote that she would want to figure out how to become herself again before coming into a new relationship. She said, "It’s okay to be single and think about what you actually want in life without another person to add to that mess. I found that some people are afraid to be alone and will jump into another relationship."
Another Reddit woman said that if you haven't "mourned or healed", you could bring the emotional baggage to the new relationship and jeopardise its healthy growth. She mentioned that being single for a while may help one to work on the personal and financial independence.
Not to mention, it also makes you emotionally independent without having someone else to carry your emotional baggage for you. Agreeing to her, Emmyj2605 wrote, "I think if you've stayed in a 'dead' relationship for a while, it's also worthwhile to take some space and ask yourself why you stayed there, what kept you from breaking it off and why could you not bring yourself to do it sooner?"
Another woman wrote that refusing to be alone can foster codependent relationships which are not healthy in the long term. Sharing her personal experience, a woman on Reddit further mentioned that healing from cheating and trust issues is very important before getting into a new relationship because it can be harmful for it to sustain. "How is that their fault? It’s not, it’s not our fault either, but it is our insecurity to work through," she said.
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To sum it up, it is important to take time off from dating after breakup simply because it is not worth to carry the baggage into a new relationship with a new person when you trying to have a new beginning in your life. It is best to heal your wounds and start over in a healthy way so that you don't project your past experiences and traumas over someone who has nothing to do with it.
Of course, it is good to have someone to support and work through the process but putting them in a position where you are unsure about how you feel and constantly return to the same toxic patterns again and again, is not good for either of you.