Aunty In 20s: How Society Centers A Woman's Identity On The Way She Looks

Whenever I walk on the streets, people older than me or of the same age, often address me as “aunty”. Let me tell you I am only 25 years old and still trying to figure out my life. But I don’t know from where this idea hit people that I am as settled and mature as an aunty. Oh, wait. I think I know. My weight! My dressing sense! At least these are the things that people remind me to change to not be addressed as aunty. But why should a women’s age and maturity depend on her weight or dressing sense? Why should women in their 20s be stereotyped as thin and those in their 40s as "curvy"? Why is calling women aunty to insult them is acceptable and funny to some people?

I was at the engagement party recently and as the custom goes, I went up to the stage with my parents to congratulate the newly engaged couple and click photos with them. When I raised my hand to congratulate my to-be-aunt, she bent down to touch my feet. That moment became entertainment for the entire family. As I stepped down from the stage, people came rushing to me with their advice to work on my weight and dressing sense. “Become a little thinner and wear ‘modern’ clothes,” “ Why do you always dress up like a Behenji?” “I am of the same age as you but no one ever touched my feet."

I don’t really have a problem with being addressed as an aunty if it implies that I am a mature and sorted individual. But I don’t think that is the reason why I am called so. The actual reason has to do with the stereotypes that society has created regarding women’s bodies and age.

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Normally it is assumed that a woman in her 20s would be thin, dressed up in ‘modern’ clothes like jeans, shorts or dresses and will brag about what she wants to do in her life. No one imagines that a woman in her 20s can be fat, dressed up traditionally and speaks about society and inequality. It is always assumed that a woman in her 20s has less muscle and less intellectuality- things that women gain as they age.

Moreover, Only rarely do people think that an aunty is synonymous with being mature. In fact, calling a woman 'aunty' is all about her weight, looks and the number of kids she might have. An aunty can never wear 'modern' clothes or be thin and childless.

Wait, doesn't society also slut-shame women if they wear 'modern' clothes? Doesn't it keep lecturing women on wearing clothes that hide their bodies? Is it not true that some groups of men like women who are chubby and body-shame those who are thin? But when a woman is chubby and covered, why does it shame her for looking like an aunty? Hypocrisy much? Why should society get to decide which type of body is suitable for a woman of a particular age?

Dear society, let me tell you that time has not stuck where your mindset is. Time has changed and so have women and how they see themselves. Today, even girls of younger age are talking about ‘mature’ things like ">equality and feminism. That is because equality and feminism are subjects for everyone, age no bar. As far as weight and dressing sense is concerned, it is a woman’s choice how she wants to look. Rather than judging her for how she looks, judge your mindset that is bent on shaming and stereotyping her. A woman’s body is not the hallmark of who she is.

So to all those women who feel ashamed of being called aunty, hear it out- own your body and be proud of how you look, and what you talk about.

Views expressed are the author's own.