Don’t Seek Sympathy From Court: Should We Stop Calling Out Stereotypes?

Why we shouldn't discourage women from calling out stereotypes: Like air, common cultural stereotypes are present everywhere. "Girls are not good in math," or "Zaada khayegi moti ho jayegi," or "Bengali girls have long hair and big eyes," or a "woman's life revolves around marriage and children," are comments we all have heard. There is also no grey area if you are a woman- if are loud you are "ladaki" and if you are soft then "aawaz nahi nikalti". But did you realise I have to shout twice as loud to make you hear? So what is the solution? Should we always try to outperform ourselves and others in an effort to stay away from being labelled or call out stereotypes and deconstruct them to show how patriarchally biased they are? Isn't it important to make the perpetrator conscious of the damaging effect of the stereotype they are inflicting on us? Here is where I am coming from:

Recently, speaking about the achievements and challenges of women at the Bar during an event organised by “Women in Law and Litigation”, Delhi high court judge, justice Prathiba M Singh said that women should know how to manage their time in a competent manner. She said, “Don’t seek sympathy from the court or from lawyers on the other side or even your clerk. You don’t have to tell them that my child is unwell, I have to pick up my daughter from school. Please don’t do that... That stereotypes you.” But why should calling out the fact that housework and childcare are still unfairly distributed in Indian households be seen as an act that reaffirms stereotypes?

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Can anybody deny the fact that the onus of balancing a career and a house is always on the shoulder of a woman? A father can chase his career and have his family's support but can a mother do the same?

The aforementioned event was organised to felicitate justice Hima Kohli, a Supreme Court judge. In an aside, Justice Hima Kohli was recently sworn in as the first female Chief Justice of the Telangana High Court. The pioneering achievement makes her the only female on the Chief Justice seat across the 25 Indian High Courts, presently.

Isn't Calling Out Stereotypes Important?

Most people, including Justice Singh, agree that women have to work twice as hard as their male counterparts to reach the same position. She said that "women who make it as senior lawyers at the court often had to work twice as hard as their male counterparts." So why should calling out stereotypes be asking for sympathy? Won't hiding them help perpetuate the myths that have been in place since women have stepped out of the home and tried to claim the world?

Suggested Reading: Single Women Stereotypes : Are You Subject to These?

The fact is, visible and relevant role models can help in changing a stereotype. If a male colleague hears about his female co-worker or boss talking about their sick child or having to pick up a kid from school, it is perhaps going to lead them to introspect. Over time they may realise that these are jobs that have by default fallen on their partners. Perhaps she could have had a successful career but she choose to look after your home and children. 

For your child to be proud of you as a working professional they have to know that their mother's work inside and outside of the house is equally important. That while she takes care of her professional responsibilities she does not compromise on her duties as a parent. And most importantly their fathers and the entire household acknowledges this. They should know their parents are equal decision-makers.

A working woman with her problems is part of the changing world and she should not be made to feel small if she discusses her problems. 

The views expressed are the author's own.