Blocking Parents From Social Media. Why Should Freedom Come With A Cost?

Neelam is very active on social media. She posts many pictures of herself, her friends and her college life. She makes sure that every picture that she clicks should be perfect and lined with a beautiful caption. Her enthusiasm on social media has attracted many followers too. However, apart from accepting the following request, Neelam has to do extra work of filtering her followers. Yes, she scans through her followers to remove or block relatives, parents from social media because they may judge her.

This is true with almost all the millennials. Blocking parents and relatives from social media have become a quite common way to escape unsolicited judgements. This is especially more prevalent among women who are shamed for just having a social media presence. But what is the reason behind it? Why aren’t women free enough to share their lives and photos with their parents and relatives? No doubt social media has provided us with ample freedom. But why does this freedom come with a cost for women?

The major reason behind this is the obnoxious habit of some parents and relatives to judge, slut-shame and impugn women for the pictures they post. Months ago, my cousin sister posted a picture in which her cleavage was visible. All my aunts began calling her one by one to ask her to delete the photo. The reason that they gave was equally bizarre. They said “Aise kapde shaadi ke baad pehnna. What will people think of you? Who will marry you?” Many women feel free to share their pictures in poses, clothes and places that are against their parents’ ideals on social media. By blocking such parents and relatives, they gain virtual freedom of being who they are.

Moreover, there is also the issue of privacy in desi households. Women are rarely allowed any sort of privacy at home or in their life. Desi parents impose various restrictions to interfere in their lives. Don’t shut the door of your room, don’t demand a separate room, don’t go out alone, come before evening, whom are you talking to, show your WhatsApp chats and whatnot. But by blocking parents on social media, women gain the privacy that they lack in the real world.

Another major reason why women block their relatives is to avoid those who look at them with wrong intentions. In our country, most of the&t=18s"> sexual harassment cases happen within the closed doors of the home. Men who are blood-related or are supposed to be supportive relatives end up molesting the women of their families. One such case happened in my family. My cousin was molested by her uncle (mother’s sister’s husband) and because of this she stopped meeting him and blocked him from every social media website. In fact, blocking such relatives or acquaintances from social media helps women to speak up about their experience of sexual harassment freely without any fear.

So yes, in some way the freedom to block people on social media does help women to be free and safe online. It not only helps them in avoiding unknown men sliding into their DMs but also relatives and parents who interfere in their lives. But the question remains is why should their freedom be conditional? Why should they live in the fear that someday or the other their parents might spot them on the internet? Why can’t parents and relatives accept women of their house the way they are rather than interfering in and restricting their lives? And will blocking relatives and parents on social media change their mindsets? Wouldn’t blocking and avoiding their own parents worsen the relationship with them?

The very idea of social media is to become social and share bits of your life with people without any sort of fear or doubts. Parents and relatives need to accept the fact that their women should have full control over their lives, in reality, and in the virtual world. They need to understand that if they want to know everything about their daughter’s life, they will have to stop judging them for anything. But until parents and relatives understand this, blocking them is the best option for women to live their life on their terms, virtually at least.

Views expressed are the author's own.