Crying at Your Bidaai: Why Should This Be a Necessity?

What do you think is the most common sight at an Indian wedding? Before you start making assumptions, let me break it to you. It's the sight of the bride crying her heart out on leaving her family. Why should crying at bidaai be followed as a 'ritual'? Starting a new journey is difficult but it can be done with a smile instead of tears?

Marriages are supposed to mean a time of celebration. Grand preparations are made to mark the occasion and at the end, we expect brides to cry and leave everyone in distress. Isn't the bride supposed to enjoy the day and say cheers to a new beginning? 

Crying at bidaai: more a necessity than an emotion?

I often wonder if crying at bidaai is considered more of a necessity for brides than a way to actually express their emotions. As far as I believe, women these days are used to living away from their families. Many relocate for their higher studies and career. Some even move to a different country. Why do these moments make them smile but weddings become the seat of all their sorrows? 

Is it because they are scared of offending their judgmental relatives who are quick to speculate that the amount of tears brides shed on their wedding is directly proportional to the attachment they share with their families? Is that the only way we can show our love for them? Women can be happy on their wedding and still miss their loved ones once they are away. They need not cry just to please you.

Start your journey with a smile

Dear women, we know you love your parents and moving in with your in-laws' is a challenging task. But you can always start your newly wedded life with a smile. Say no to breaking down right at the start. The life ahead is going to be exciting and full of thrills. You can't let the tears wipe off all the fun. 

Not crying at your bidaai is absolutely fine. You might hear rumours which say it is inauspicious for brides to not cry on getting married. These myths contribute to making the ambience of the wedding somber. Guests who come to have a gala time might feel awkward not knowing what to do.

Starting a new journey is difficult but it can be done with a smile instead of tears? Why does Bidaai need a woman to cry?

However, after the tiring day, you are sure to feel exhausted. Moreover, knowing that you will now get to meet your family less often might make your heart heavy. So there are high chances of you collecting all of it and letting it out in the form of tears. That too is okay. Ultimately, it all depends on the situation and how you feel at that point of time. 

Making early predictions as to whether one will or not cry at one's bidaai is not possible but it should be seen as a personal feeling and not a mandatory ritual. There's no sight more beautiful than your daughter bidding you goodbye with a smile on her face. Expecting her to cry can ruin her special day. 

May be we should raise questions about these stereotypes we are fed every single day. May be we should ask why should a daughter be 'given away'? That could also be a reason why a girl cries because she is made to believe by her own parents that she is 'leaving' her own house for good. All these rituals must be reviewed with the eye that every woman, like every man wants a life of independence, her choice and doesn't want her family to think of her as a burden that should be passed on from one household to the other.