The Bitter Sweet Relationship Of A Bhabhi And Nanad

During a recent visit to a cousin's place, I was impressed to see her bonding with her sister-in-law or nanad. In the absence of the brother/husband, who was in Bangalore, the sisters-in law were more of BBFs. That’s one beautiful relationship that one must cherish in a new family. 

I remember when I got married, I am from Odisha and in our part of the world, the new bride takes a special gift for her sister-in-law and not for the mother-in-law as in other parts of the country. My sister-in-law who was my age was thrilled to bits (as my in-laws are from Bihar and didn’t have this custom) and said, “Accha, yeh sab nanad ko patane ke liye hai!” I realised that it must be true, this custom was to befriend the sister-in-law in a new family and create a new sisterhood. Not that we needed any exchange of gifts, my sis-in-law and I hit it off from day one.

Befriending a nanad can be a blessing but we need to outgrow the stereotype that women can’t be friends. Your sis-in-law can be your greatest support as you enter the new household after marriage. Here’s why you should befriend your sister-in-law.

Kareena Kapoor Khan and Soha Ali Khan

Bhabhi And Nanad: She could be your 3 am friend

Imagine you had a fight with your husband or your mom-in-law said something that hurt you, your sis-in-law could be the person whom you can call at that odd hour or if she’s living with you can just walk in and talk to her.

Remember if you have a built a relationship of trust with her then you can depend on her to have your back. She can back you when you start to draw the line-in relationships. Being nearer your age, she’ll be of your generation and would be facing the same challenges in navigating the societal expectations.

She’ll help you navigate your new home

Being from your marital family she can be your guide both literally and otherwise. As a new bride you are entering an already established household, your nanad can make your life easy by telling you the inside details of all family members and can guide you through the workings of the household. Being new one might hesitate to go to elders of the family, therefore you should make your sister-in-law your go-to person.

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A relationship that works two ways

Instead of listening to the patriarchal voices of myth and stereotypes it will do you a world of good to keep an open mind about building relationships in your new home, especially with your nanad. This new relationship that you nurture with trust and sharing will eventually become a support system for both of you.

Your sis-in-law especially if she is younger to you then she might look upto you for many things. She might like your dressing sense, your cooking, your career choice, etc. and might seek advice, be open as you would with your own sister. You can go out together for movies, trying out new eating joints, salon day and shopping.

Also, if she’s going through a breakup with her boyfriend or is considering to go serious with another guy then you might be the first one to know. If she is serious about a guy then she might even ask you to be matchmaker. There are a thousand possibilities with this new relationship.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Shweta Nanda

 You can still connect long distance

It is not necessary that your nanad lives in the same house as you, she might even be married or studying abroad yet you can maintain a relationship. Busy schedules and time differences make maintaining friendship more challenging, but social media, pictures and text messages are all great ways to connect. Being consistent from afar can mean checking in on a regular basis by text or family FaceTime, as well as remembering birthdays and special occasions. This way both of you will be connected till you’ll meet face-to-face and take it from there.

But remember she’s the daughter of the house first

To get this relationship going it will be good to remember that she’s your husband’s sister and your in-laws’ daughter first. So, think before saying anything that maybe be hurtful.

Take some clues from some celebrity bhabhi-nanad jodis like Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Shweta Nanda, Kareena Kapoor Khan and Soha Ali Khan, Sonakshi Sinha and Taruna Agarwal, Rani Mukherji and Jyoti Mukherjee, Twinkle Khanna and Alka Bhatia, Gauri Khan and Shehnaz, Anushka Sharma and Bhawna Kohli Dhingra and the latest jodi Alia Bhatt and Riddhima Kapoor Sahani are all examples of how beautiful this relationship can be.

The views expressed are the author's own.