Assam CM On Appropriate Age For Motherhood: Why Is A Woman's Pregnancy Everyone's Business?

Speaking at a government function in Guwahati on Saturday, Assam's Chief Minister, Himanta Biswa Sarma, reportedly advised women to marry at an early age to avoid complications in pregnancy. He also said that the “appropriate” age for motherhood is 22 to 30 years old.

"Women should not wait too long to become mothers as it leads to complications. The appropriate age for motherhood is 22 to 30 years old. Women who have not married yet should do it soon," he said. "We have been speaking against early motherhood. But at the same time, women should not wait too long either, as many do. God has created our bodies in such a manner that there is an appropriate age for everything," added the CM.

Assam CM On Appropriate Age For Motherhood

How is it fair for anyone—especially men—to advise women on when to get pregnant? No one, including a woman's spouse, or partner, parents, in-laws, and society, has the right to advise a woman on her pregnancy or marriage. Society can't just force women into marriage because apparently, their 'biological clock is ticking'. Isn’t marriage about companionship and love?

Marriage is a personal choice, and women need to have the liberty to choose if and when they want to get married. Marriage and motherhood are not the sole purposes of women's lives. Women are not commodities that are birthed, raised, and married off. Women are individuals with ambitions, dreams, and desires of their own. Women have the right to autonomy and agency over their lives.

Besides, in today's world, women have numerous ways to become mothers, and no way is inferior to the other. Women who don't want to become mothers in their 20s but wish to become mothers at a later point in life can always opt for egg freezing. Surrogacy is another option. Many celebrities, like Priyanka Chopra, Nayanthara, etc., have become mothers through surrogacy. Despite the irrational flak they receive, they are normalising something very important. From Sushmita Sen to Raveena Tandon, many celebrities have also become mothers through adoption. Also, many women have become mothers in their 30s with the right lifestyle and medical guidance. Anupama Kumar Vijayanand, a pregnancy and breastfeeding educator delivered her second son at the age of 35 years. So, pregnancy in the 30s is not impossible. When is society going to understand that pregnancy and the mode of pregnancy are choices?

Conversations about "if and when women want to marry" and "if, when, and how they want to get pregnant" should be normalised. After all, it's her body! Regardless of how supportive the spouse or partner is or the number of family members who are willing to really help out with parenting, it is the woman who has to carry the baby, give birth, nourish, and care for the baby. And let's be honest here. How many spouses or family members really help a mother with parenting? The number is dishearteningly low because, even today, household chores and raising children are women's responsibilities. According to a survey in 2022, only 33% of married women are in the workforce. This is because of the predominance of gender roles in many households. Women are not superhumans who can do it all!

Society pressures a newly married woman to have a baby whether or not she is ready for it because the family wants an heir. Rarely is she asked or at least wondered if the woman is physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially ready to become a mother. No one bothers because becoming a mother is synonymous with womanhood.

Society perceives that it is the responsibility of every woman to become a mother. Getting married and becoming mothers are believed to be women's end goals. Nothing else matters. Not her dreams, not her ambitions, not her wishes.

While it is agreeable that fertility is strongest in women's 20s, no one can "advise" a woman to get married within a certain timeline citing her fertility period as a reason. Women have agency over their bodies and lives. It is up to women to decide if and when they should get married and if and when they should become mothers. There is no “appropriate” age for motherhood or marriage. It is solely the choice of a woman. How is it fair that everybody except a woman herself gets a say in deciding her life?

Views expressed are the author's own.

Suggested Reading: Why Are Women Always Questioned For Their Life Choices?