Who Is An Achi Aurat? Time To Redefine It

Who is an achi aurat? Patriarchy has given us a lot of definitions for it. One who is sacrificial, shy, silent and sanskari. But in today’s world when women are breaking glass ceilings, does this definition make sense anymore? Should women tick mark all the expectations of her to be accepted as a 'good' woman? So I thought I will offer the alternative. Here's what should definite today's 'achi aurat'.

1. One who is educated

A good woman is the one who claimed her right to be educated. She uses her education to know about herself, society and the world. She also uses education to know her rights and be empowered. Education for her is not a privilege that is limited to a certain class and gender. It is the basic right of every human.

2. One who is employed

A good woman is also the one who earns her living. She is independent, powerful and doesn’t need a man to pay her bills. We need to stop assuming that ">financial independence is a man's thing. Because women too can grace that crown.

3. One who has sex on her own terms

Get over the idea that a woman who has had sex out of marriage is a slut or unsanskari. A good woman owns her sexuality. Only she decides what is right and wrong for her. And being sexual is not a bad thing for her. It is a personal choice that she is free to make. After all seeking sexual pleasure is indicative of human attributes And a woman is a human.

4. One who is virgin

Again, if a woman is not interested in sex, it doesn’t mean she is not cool enough. Having or not having sex is a personal choice that should not be influenced by any kind of social pressure. So if a woman is a virgin, it's her choice. And it should be respected by her partner rather than shaming her for being immature, or not so cool.

5. One who is outspoken

An outspoken woman is often shamed in our society. Because it is assumed that women should not try to cross the proverbial lakshman rekha in their deeds or words. But dear society, being outspoken about one’s desires, concerns and resistance is the basic right of a human. And hence it is for a good woman too. A good woman who knows her rights will never shy away from being outspoken.

6. One who knows to cook because cooking is a human skill

A good woman can cook basic food for her own survival. Unlike the stereotype that a woman must know to cook different dishes for 5-10 people, a good woman believes that cooking is a necessary skill for every human. Rather than expecting one person to cook for 10, the ten people should know how to roll their own rotis.

7. One who respects men but still opposes patriarchy

A good woman respects men and also demands the same from them. Just because she is against patriarchy doesn’t mean she is a man-hater. A good woman can be a good wife and yet pose resistance to patriarchal mindset and practices.

8. One who opposes patriarchal rituals and customs

A good woman does not blindly conform to religious rituals which are deeply patriarchal. She either refuses to follow them or perceives them as aloof from their patriarchal roots and redefines them.

9. One who wears whatever she is comfortable in

Women’s clothes are often policed in a patriarchal society. If they wear short clothes, they are slut-shamed and held responsible for their sexual harassment. And if they wear long clothes, they are labelled as behenji or less modern. But a good woman doesn’t give in to these stereotypes and wears what she is comfortable in.

10. One who speaks against injustice

Women face injustices in the forms of harassment in relationships and in daily lives. But it is not common yet for them to speak up and resist any instance of injustice. They are restricted by patriarchy that hides every mistake of a man under his forgivable masculinity. A good woman doesn’t give in to this mindset and speaks up against injustice committed against her or other women around her. She not only empowers herself but other women too.

11. Every woman who owns her life is a good woman

Every woman can be a good woman when she owns her life decisions. She need not give in to the patriarchal demands and stereotypes to be accepted and respected in society. For example drinking or smoking doesn't make a woman bad. If men are allowed to openly exercise their choices, so are women.  A woman who values her career, choices and self-respect is a good woman of a feminist society.