STP Fixations: 'Main Apni Favourite Hoon' To 'Kitni Gadhi Thi Main'

Jab We Met is a classic film, and Geet is one of the most iconic characters in Indian cinema. Initially, Geet was a confident woman who proudly believed she was her favourite person. She was self-reliant, self-fulfilled, and one of the happiest, most carefree girls we’ve seen on screen. However, her heartbreak with Anshuman changed everything. She transformed into a woman who believed all her troubles were because she was a "gadhi" (fool).

Can't Stop Fixating Over These Two Characters

Her journey from "Main apni favourite hoon" (I am my favourite) to "Kitni gadhi thi main" (How foolish was I) struck a chord with many Indian women, including me. Growing up as a people-pleaser and a less vocal person, I used to believe that everything bad that happened to me was my fault, even if it wasn't. Moreover, the statement "Kitni gadhi thi main, tabhi yeh sab ho raha hai mere saath" (How foolish was I; that's why this is happening to me) lived with me for a long time.

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I believe Bollywood typically portrays breakups and heartbreaks in a few familiar ways, either characters embrace their pain and transform into someone like Veronica in Cocktail, punish themselves like Geet in Jab We Met, or, on a more positive note, reinvent their lives like Rani in Queen.

Then I watched Dear Zindagi, where Kaira was also sad after discovering she had been neglected by Raghu. However, she didn't blame herself or punish herself. Instead, she went to a therapist, who helped her understand that feeling sad and heartbroken is natural and that it's not necessarily because of something she did wrong. Her therapist, Jug, said, "Hum apne aap ko punish karna bahut zaruri samjhte hain, but it's not needed" (We often think it's necessary to punish ourselves, but it's not needed).

Kaira opened up to her "Dimag Ka Doctor" (DD) about her constant self-doubt, saying, "I feel dirty, like I need a cleanup. I felt ugly, filthy, and cheap." Her DD gently responded, "This silent suffering only makes things worse. People start believing they don't deserve a good life, but what's the point of suffering quietly?"

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This message resonated with me. I realised that whatever happened, happened, and I didn't want to live like that anymore. I didn't need to punish myself for what had happened and I could choose a simpler and easier way to deal with it. The film also motivated me to consider seeking help from a mental health professional.

Characters I Can't Stop Comparing

Reflecting on Geet's journey, I often think about how different things could have been if she had confronted Ayushman and said, "Tum kitne gadhe ho, thank God I saw your true colours. I deserve someone who values me as much as I value them." If Geet had retained her confidence in herself and not Anshuman and sought therapy, she might have set a great example of how we, as women and lovers, don't need to look down on ourselves or fall into self-doubt.

As a movie lover, I often find myself drawing parallels between different characters and, in a similar situation, imagining how they would handle that situation differently. This often gives me new perspectives, and I did the same with Geet from Jab We Met and Kaira from Dear Zindagi.

In my mind, imagining Geet navigating her heartbreak with the guidance and support that Kaira received paints a different, empowering story. It illustrates the importance of addressing our struggles head-on and seeking help when needed, instead of internalising pain and self-blame.

Views expressed are the author's own.