Meghan Trainor Confesses Experiencing Vaginismus, Condition That Women Need Awareness On

US singer and Australian Idol judge Megan Trainor opened up about her struggles with sex due to "vaginismus," a gynaecological medical condition, on the "Workin’ On It" podcast. The 29-year-old Grammy winner revealed that it took a long time for her to consider having sex with her spouse, actor Daryl Sabara, after welcoming their first child in 2021.

Trainor described that sex was very painful and that she couldn’t walk afterward. The singer-songwriter shared that she used to feel a "stingy" or "burning" sensation during every sexual encounter. Trainor, who is now expecting her second child with Sabara, confessed that she had no idea about her condition until she went for a check-up with a doctor.

Meghan Trainor On Vaginismus

For starters, vaginismus is the involuntary tightening of the vaginal walls upon penetration. This could result in women suffering from painful intercourse, and they might even avoid sex. This condition is pretty common in women but unfortunately there isn't much awareness about it. Vaginismus could be caused by traumatic events in the past, like disrespectful vaginal examinations, traumatic or painful childbirth, sexual assault, etc., Vaginusmus could also make any insertion painful—menstrual cups, tampons, fingers, etc. However, the good news is that this condition is treatable and can be cured with therapy and pelvic floor exercises.

In the podcast, Trainor ">said, "I thought that every woman walking around was always in pain during and after sex." Isn’t that highly relatable to many of us, given that we never had proper sex education? Some of us walk into a marriage without even knowing what sex really is. We might even have believed that something was wrong with us if we experience pain. It’s difficult to even find statistics on women who have experienced or are experiencing vaginismus because painful sex for women is normalised.

Even today, it is largely believed that sex is associated with procreation for women while it is associated with pleasure for men. That is why the three-letter word remains a hush-hush topic. According to social norms, women cannot and should not turn down their spouse’s sexual advances. "You can never say no to your husband!" "Your job as a wife is to satisfy your husband!" "Pain? You need to adjust and tolerate because you’re a woman!" "If you can't tolerate this, how will you handle childbirth?"

This is what women have been hearing from at least one person in their lives. These statements are repeated to women numerous times, and when they see the women around them silently suffering, they start believing that this is what they are supposed to do: "tolerate pain."

But how long are we going to glorify women for tolerating pain? When are we going to start talking out loud about pleasurable sex for women? When a couple doesn’t stop having sex after having a child or two, doesn’t that mean that sex is not just for procreation? If a woman is going to indulge in the activity, doesn’t she have the right to derive pleasure from it as well? Why aren’t we talking about all this?

Ah! Women from good families don’t talk about sex; A good wife should oblige to her partner’s demands, merely reducing herself to a sex machine. But for how long are we going to disregard women’s consent and comfort? Why should women go to the extent of pleasing their spouse at the cost of enduring physical and emotional pain?

If Meghan Trainor, a US-based celebrity, learned about vaginismus only after so long, how would an average Indian woman know about this condition? She won’t even address the issue because sex is stigmatised, pain in women is normalised, and even if she does, she’s only going to be told to "tolerate." When are we going to stop glorifying women for enduring pain and start being sensitive to their issues? Only when more women open up about their struggles in the bedroom will society realise the need to address their problems.

Suggested Reading: What is Vaginismus? When Sex Brings More Pain Than Pleasure