5 Things I Learned From Sex Education Before I Turned 20 That I Wish Others Did Too

5 Things I Learned From Sex Education: Conversations of many topics make their way rounds in a brown household dinner table but sex education will never be one of the topics that are touched.

But with proper sex education that I received from doctors and people who use their platform to spread awareness on the media; the concept of consent, sexual abuse, female pleasure, STDs and STIs, and many others were cleared up for me.

Out of the many things, here are 5 things I learned from sex education before I turned 20.

My Body, My Decision, My Consent

Anything about your body is always going to come down to this. In a country like ours where consent nearly does not exist in people's minds, it’s important to know you’re the boss of your body. Consent is yours to give and any decision can be made by you and only you.

It’s also equally important to remember that you can also take back your consent even if you initially said, “Yes''. Many women have revealed that they only had sex with someone because they initially said “yes” and felt like they could not back out or change their minds about it from then.

Your body, your decision, your consent. Let that sink in.

Pornography Is Unrealistic

Most genitalia does not look like the ones presented in pornography. While pornography presents the female genitalia, pubes, and body from a perfectly manicured constructed angle, most vulvas and pubes in real life do not look like that. And that’s totally okay and normal.

Pigmentation comes from hormonal changes in the body that takes place during puberty. Therefore, creating pressure on yourself by trying to enforce certain looks on yourself based on what you see in pornography is unhealthy. It’s far more important to take care of your reproductive health than be concerned only to compare yourself with the unrealistic ones on the screen.

First Times

Through proper sex education, I know that first times are not supposed to hurt. Penetrative sex may be a little uncomfortable at first but it’s not supposed to hurt or be painful outright to the point where it makes you fear penetration for a long time.

Foreplay and lubrication are important ALWAYS, but especially for first times. Foreplay helps relax the muscles in the body and even prepares the body internally for sex. With enough lubrication, first times can be a great experience.

Bleeding during your first time is also what a lot of women are concerned with. It’s important to know that bleeding or not bleeding during your first time does not determine anything nor does it enforce anything. It’s just that some people bleed, others don’t.

Oral Sex And STIs

Condoms are not only important for preventing unwanted pregnancies but also to protect you and your partner from Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI).

Most people by now are aware of STDs and how they are caused. But many become ignorant when it comes to STIs like gonorrhoea, herpes, and chlamydia. It is high time that everyone becomes aware of how STIs can also be transmitted through oral sex. In this case, condoms should also be used for oral sex, and in the case of going down on a vulva, dental dams can be used. Remember that safe sex is the best sex.

Penetration Is Not Everything

A lot of women are hard on themselves because they don’t feel good nor do they experience orgasms when they have penetrative sex. This is also another high influence of pornography and contributes to the orgasm gap.

Well, it’s important to be aware of how penetration is not the be-all and end-all when it comes to the body experiencing pleasure. Most women do not have their orgasms from penetrative sex alone. There are so many forms of pleasure that one can experience and women are not subjected to enjoy just penetration.

Views expressed are the author's own

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