Cos-Commissioning: Young Chinese Women Turn To Cosplayers To Play Dream Men

In recent years, an unusual trend has gained significant popularity among young Chinese women—hiring female cosplayers to impersonate their dream male characters. This phenomenon, known as "cos commissioning," allows these women to live out their romantic fantasies by bringing their idealized video game or anime characters into the real world. Let's understand more about this trend below.

Cos Commissioning: A Unique Trend in China

According to the Taipei Times, the practice of cos-commissioning has seen a remarkable rise in China, particularly among women who prefer fictional characters over real-life relationships. Social media platforms have played a crucial role in amplifying this trend, with posts related to cos commissioning garnering millions of views. This growing popularity reflects a broader cultural shift where young women are using their financial independence to fulfil personal desires in unconventional ways.

From Screen to Reality: A Teenage Cosplayer’s Journey

Xu Yunting, a teenager from Shanghai, is one of the many cosplayers who have found a unique way to make money by transforming into male video game characters and taking on the role of a dream boyfriend for female clients. Xu first discovered this opportunity during her high school years and has since become a sought-after cosplayer. One of her most popular characters is "Jesse," a sensitive musician from the romance quest mobile game "Light and Night." This game, developed by tech giant Tencent, is specifically designed to offer young women a "highly immersive love" experience.

The trend called "cos commissioning" has gained traction in China recently, with social media posts garnering millions of views as an increasing number of young women use their purchasing power to engineer a meeting with their dream man in real life. (📷: Hector Retamal/AFP)… pic.twitter.com/9eKKdz38Kn

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A New Kind of Relationship: Dream Girls and Their Cosplayers

Women like Feng Xinyu, a vivacious 19-year-old, are known as "dream girls"—fans who form deep emotional connections with characters from games like "Light and Night." For Feng, real-life men, often referred to as "3D men," don't hold the same appeal as their virtual counterparts. She has commissioned Xu multiple times, paying around $70 for each date. Feng's emotional connection to the character is so strong that she even spends $2,800 on a multi-day trip with another Jesse cosplayer, only to return to Xu for a third date because of the authenticity she brings to the role.

The Appeal of Cos Commissioning: Beyond Fantasy

The appeal of cos commissioning goes beyond mere fantasy. It offers young women a way to engage in idealized heteronormative relationships, free from the societal pressures and gender expectations often present in real-life interactions. In China, where conservative social attitudes towards women are still prevalent, cos commissioning provides a safe space for women to explore relationships on their terms. The fact that many women choose female cosplayers reflects a desire for equality and mutual understanding, qualities that are not always guaranteed in traditional relationships.

Reconstructing Gender Dynamics Through Cosplay

Experts studying this phenomenon suggest that cos commissioning allows women to challenge and reconstruct traditional gender roles. Tian Qian, a researcher from Fudan University, explains that the cosplayer serves as a "vessel" for the client's emotions, enabling women to experience relationships where their voice is fully respected. This empowerment through fantasy is seen as a way to break free from the constraints of real-world gender dynamics.

Quality Over Quantity: Setting Higher Standards for Real-Life Relationships

For cosplayers like Xu, the experience is not just about role-playing; it's about helping clients set higher standards for their real-life relationships. Xu believes that by interacting with these "quality guys" from games, clients will be more discerning in their real-life choices, avoiding "low-quality guys" who don't meet their expectations. This sentiment is echoed by many women who find comfort and emotional sustenance in these paid interactions, which offer a sense of being seen and valued.

A Mother's Perspective: From Skepticism to Acceptance

Xu’s mother, Fang Xiuqing, initially reacted with concern when she learned about her daughter's involvement in cos commissioning. However, over time, she has come to see it as a positive outlet for Xu's creativity and a source of joy for others. Fang now views it as a hobby rather than a profession, recognizing the emotional fulfilment it brings to both her daughter and her clients.

As cos commissioning continues to grow in popularity, it highlights a unique cultural shift in how young Chinese women navigate their emotional and relational needs. While these interactions are paid, they offer more than just a transactional experience. For many, cos commissioning provides emotional healing and a sense of connection that transcends the boundaries of reality, allowing them to reimagine and reconstruct the relationships they desire.