Untold Story Of Diwali: A Woman's Journey Through Festive Overwhelm

Diwali, the festival of lights, has always been a cherished memory for me. The mere mention of it conjures images of diyas, homemade sweets like gujiya, salty papadi, vibrant rangoli, and the sacred rituals that adorned my childhood home. However, the dynamics changed last year when unable to make it home, I contemplated celebrating at my new abode. Little did I realise the overwhelming nature of the preparations and the silent weight that women bear during this festive extravaganza.

As I pondered over the extensive list of tasks needed for the celebrations, memories of my working mother surfaced. A senior government officer, she managed the household with finesse during my childhood. For the first time, I viewed things from her perspective—a perspective of managing a home, family, and everything in between.

Why It's Important To Talk About The  Exhaustion That Women Carry During Festive Season 

My mother, a real-life superhero, orchestrated a symphony of tasks. A month before Diwali, she coordinated with painters, ensuring the house was a canvas of fresh colours. Wrapping valuables securely for seamless painting was just the beginning. She delved into an exhaustive cleaning spree, leaving no nook untouched. With three demanding kids like me, her daily routine included market visits for festival shopping—clothes, puja essentials, and ingredients for homemade delights.

Her commitment didn’t stop there. On her days off, she transformed into a whirlwind of activity—climbing stools to fetch new dinner sets, changing curtains, and meticulously arranging puja items. The responsibilities extended to managing house help during festivities, ensuring they were adorned in new clothes and showered with gifts—proof of her unwavering dedication to her family.

Every evening after work and market escapades, she would cook for us, a routine that seamlessly transitioned into making gujiya, a Diwali essential. Midnight oil was burned, and she would rise at 5 am to send us to school. As a child, I never considered this extraordinary; it was just the way things were.

As the Diwali week commenced, chaos ensued. Everyone turned to her for everything they needed. Amid cooking for ten, completing puja rituals, illuminating the house with diyas, crafting intricate rangoli, and attending guests, she found solace only in stolen moments—elusive moments to sit and relax for five minutes, a luxury rarely attained.

My father, the hero of the house, would arrive on Diwali day with crackers, and we, like eager fans, would flock around him. Yet there stood my mother in the background, smiling at our joy, her efforts unnoticed.

One Diwali, vivid in my memory, she didn't even get the chance to change into festive attire. The muhrat demanded otherwise, and she stood there in her regular clothes while everyone else sparkled.

Now, two decades later, reflecting on those times, I realize the silent struggle women undergo. From managing work to handling everything at home, the toll is immense. Conversations with friends revealed similar narratives, and the question lingered: do women get the appreciation they deserve?

Juggling office commitments with the demands of spring cleaning, decorating, and socializing may present an image of flawless multitasking. However, the hidden truth is that women undergo immense stress and depression during these festivities. The energy spent on executing tasks often leaves little room for personal enjoyment, impacting mental well-being significantly.

In retrospect, things could have been different. If, as kids, we had lent a helping hand during festive preparations or if my father had been more involved in the internal management, my mother might have experienced less stress.

This Diwali, as I navigate through my work and festival preparations, a seismic shift occurs. Conversations with my father bring about a change. He is now involved in getting puja essentials, and, despite initial cluelessness, he sits down with my mom, making lists and ensuring everything is acquired. I, on the other hand, join my mother after work, recreating our favourite snacks and reminiscing about the old times.

This year, our house paints a different picture. My father, once a spectator, is now attempting to make sweets, stealing khoya in between, and getting a playful scolding from my mom. The roles have shifted, and the joy is now shared.

Festive seasons can be overwhelming for mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. Let's not add to their burden but stand with them, support them, and appreciate them. A few words of gratitude can transform the 'Lakshmi' of your house into a bright, lit diya, radiating happiness and peace.

Amidst the grandeur of Diwali, let the magic of lights illuminate not just your home but also the tired faces of the women who make it all happen.

Views expressed are the author's own.