How Suraj And Abhishek's Love Story Is Fueling India's LGBTQ+ Progress

In 2019, a small but kind gesture from Suraj Tomar made Abhishek Dey feel an immediate connection with him the very first time they met. The two quickly became close and started dating a few days later. While Suraj's parents knew of their relationship and were supportive, Abhishek had not yet been able to open up to his parents about his sexuality. When he told his parents about Suraj, seeking their acceptance was difficult. However, witnessing the sheer affection that Suraj and Abhishek had for each other, his parents eventually came around.

From their own experiences, Suraj and Abhishek acknowledge the struggle of being a same-sex couple in India, especially outside tier-1 cities. Thus, they are now working to raise positive awareness about homosexuality and advocating for the rights of the Indian LGBTQ+ community. 

Speaking with SheThePeople, Abhishek shared their story.

Suraj And Abhishek's Story

Seeking Acceptance

"In 2019, I moved from Kolkata to New Delhi for my PhD. It was my first time at the LGBTQ+ party in Delhi with my college colleagues where I first met Suraj. We met through a dating app there and then at the party itself. He offered to drop me at my hostel. My phone battery had died. His care for me is what made me feel the spark for him.

From that day onwards, we kept meeting often and soon we started dating. A year later, he proposed and I said yes! It was the most magical time of our lives. Somewhere down. I had not come out to my parents yet, I was worried how they would react. On the other hand, Suraj’s family knew about us and also accepted our relationship.

In March 2020, because of Covid, I had to move back to Kolkata. Staying away from Suraj was difficult. It was also when I came out to my parents. They were shocked. At first, they didn’t agree. I wanted to give them some time to let it sink in as I moved back to Delhi once lockdown was over. 

My parents said, ‘Stay away from Suraj.’ But once I landed in Delhi, I saw my name tattooed on Suraj’s arm in Bengali. This man loved me and at that moment, I knew he was the one. In 2021, I was diagnosed with Covid and quarantined. During this time, Suraj stood by my side in whatever way he could and took care of me.

That's when my parents realised what we had was more than just attraction- it was pure love. It was now that I got the courage and took Suraj to my parent's place in Kolkata in 2023. They were very warm and welcoming."

LGBTQ+ Advocacy & Awareness

"In the meantime, we started an NGO where we wanted to promote a gender-inclusive education system. We approached a couple of educational institutions and they agreed to share our views with some of them. We are one of the very few fortunate ones who have supportive parents. 

While I am blessed to have found Suraj in my life, I wish for a world, where people like us don't have to be side cast or looked upon differently for their choices. Especially, in the small towns where I have personally experienced trolls and been physically assaulted for holding hands of my partner publicly.

To anyone reading this, I request you to learn to unlearn the old information."