On My Solo Boat Ride, The Paddler Asked, “Jump Toh Nahin Karoge Lake Mein?”

Ask those who have been on a solo trip and they’ll tell you how liberating it feels. Going out alone, and enjoying your own company isn't to prove anyone anything, it's simply a way to take out time for yourself and do what you like on your timeline, on your terms. Doesn’t sound bad now, does it? I had an interesting experience sometime back when I decided to go for a boat ride alone.

I was strolling down the mall road in Nainital when I came to a halt in front of the boat booking counter. "Let's go boating," I said to myself. I'd been around the lake on a boat before, but always with family and friends; never by myself. When I asked one of the paddlers if I might have a ride, my optimism took a hit. "Aapka saathi kahan hai?" he inquired. "Akeli aayi hun," I answered. "Wait kar lijiye," he said. "Koi nai aayega, akele boating karni hai," I said. As you read this, I’m not sure how that sounds, but the scene was amusing, and I did attract some unwanted attention.

Moving on, I got comfy on the boat and enjoyed every minute of it. The other riders on the lake's circuit stared at me; some grinned, some pitied me, but I enjoyed it. I sat there in the calm, looking around at the hills and river, feeling the cool breeze on my face, tripping a bit while snapping pictures. "Listen, I'm in the middle of the ocean," I said, as I called my best friend. I was so enthralled that I forgot it was a lake. The paddler was both surprised and concerned. When I requested him to go around the lake once more, he gave up and said, "Madam, aap jump karne toh nahin aaye ho lake mein?"

I'm sure he assumed I am depressed or sad, and so did other people. That's exactly why it's significant to normalise the idea of doing activities alone.

Solo boating in public

It's not the paddler's fault, he hasn't seen people going on boat rides alone; I haven't seen people doing that myself. Recently, a close friend, who had never been on a solo trip before went for her first. She was nervous because it was a region she had never visited before but she wanted an experience that could help her reflect and gain a new experience.

"You don't necessarily have to pick up a backpack to go out and prove to yourself that you can do it alone. The whole point of experiencing comfort and peace in solitude tarnishes when we constantly try to prove something. Do it for yourself, when you're ready."

My tryst with enjoying my own company began seven years ago when I began going to the movies alone. Don't get me wrong: watching movies with family and friends is fantastic. I had some wonderful recollections of going to the movies with my buddies. However, there will be instances when you are keen to go out and your movie partners are either overloaded with other commitments or just do not have an interest in the genre of the film release, in which case you must determine what to do. You go outside and observe it.

Similarly, why is it such a poor idea to eat alone? Eating alone does not imply that you do not have people in your life, and why should it? I know people who make a special booking once a week to dine alone, and they have nothing but a good experience. Imagine, you're sitting at a cafe, reading a book, listening to music, having your favourite cuisine, sipping a beverage, and just BEING.

Why taking yourself out on a date is so liberating

It's true that people still feel weird about public solitude. According to recent research, most people still worry about how they will seem alone in public. They avoid doing anything outdoorsy on their own because they are afraid of appearing lonely to others. As a result, regardless of how confident people feel when they are alone outside, their interest in those activities declines since they feel evaluated. However, attitudes are gradually shifting. Reportedly, the popularity of solitary dining has skyrocketed in recent years. While the pandemic pushed us out of our comfort zones in various ways, it may have also made most of us more at ease with the concept of solitude.

A self-date or a solo outing can be anything you want it to be. It can be loud or silent, inside or outside. You can sit on a bench and observe people (not stalk), have a spa day, eat a full pizza alone in a crowded cafe, or simply stay in, order in, and relax on your couch. 'Me time' has always sounded manageable and inspiring on paper, but it may be difficult given the plethora of activities at hand and responsibilities at work and at home that might overwhelm you. And that's why the comfort around solitude becomes so important.

For me, the concept of solitude is more about quality than quantity. Time spent alone doing hobbies you enjoy or, at times, simply staring at the ceiling, as I do, can be less stressful and used to contemplate and solve whatever situation we're facing. We get to know ourselves better, and isn't that what learning is all about?