Thanks To My Dad, I Broke Shackles Of Conservatism To Change My Life

I belong to a family from Bihar where, in some places, people's thinking stands conservative even today. In such families, Muslim girls are not educated with the belief that they will go astray and ruin themselves in the wrong environment. Despite these prejudices, my father, who was an uneducated and simple man, moved to Delhi at a young age. He worked very hard and built a home here, supporting his wife, my two brothers and me. He had a lot many hopes for his daughter, in a family where daughters were considered a burden from childhood, and money was saved for their dowries, instead of fueling their dreams.

How My Father Fought Conservatism To Fuel My Dreams 

Ignoring such notions, my father enrolled me in a reputed school. Later, when girls were not allowed to pursue graduation, my father ensured I graduated from Delhi University and completed my post-graduation. When people taunted him, suggesting I would become a doctor or an engineer, he paid no heed and encouraged me to pursue post-graduation, something no one in our family had ever done.

Whenever my father looked at Jamia Millia Islamia, a dream sparkled in his eyes. That grand building, where he himself couldn't study, where nobody from his family could study. And in his eyes, there was a gleam, one day his daughter would be in that college. I worked hard and took admission there, and I still remember that day when my father brimmed with joy. I took the entrance exam for Jamia Millia Islamia and secured an All-India Muslim Rank of 13, which made my family very happy. However, people still said that, at 23, I should only be concerned with household chores.

I belonged to the 2016-2019 batch. These three years were not just integral to my personal growth, but I also took it upon myself to prove to the conservatism around me that I was worth more than they resumed to be owing to my gender. 

A few years after graduation, in 2024, I was honoured by my college in Delhi University, because I was an alumna who stood out among a batch of 400 students. All these years, my competition was not only with my batchmates and peers but also with my conservative family.

I Do Not Belong To The Kitchen 

In 2021, during a significant turning point in my life, my father passed away. Despite the societal norms that dictated girls should hide their voices and faces, I broke all barriers and started teaching on YouTube. My voice made me famous, and I began writing blogs for the Times of India. Today, I am an inspiration for girls in our community, where they are traditionally told their place is only in the kitchen. Even today, as I prepare for exams, I still hear taunts about whom I will marry – whether it will be a magistrate, a district collector, or an engineer. However, these comments do not affect me anymore because I am happy with where I am today. After my father's passing, my mother and brothers have supported me immensely and that's all that matters.

It fills me with pride that the very thing I was told to abandon (studying) is what I take forward with me today by imparting this knowledge to many more girls now as an educationist. 

I still remember the day when people would come to my father and say, 'You are a dialysis patient, who knows if you'll be alive tomorrow. Who will marry your daughter?' But my father would reply, 'I may leave this world, but I won't let my daughter's life be ruined. Let her study and progress.' Today, I realise how he never paid attention to such remarks.

After my father's demise, I battled depression for many days, and suicidal thoughts haunted me. However, my brother - my motivation - pulled me out of it. I am working hard, knowing there are no limits to success. One day, my father will look down on me from above, feeling immensely proud. I hope he already is. I am fortunate to be his daughter.

My story is one of many examples of resilience, determination, and the enduring love of a father for his daughter, and I hope it inspires you to move forward despite resistance.