Making My First Film See Light Of The Day Was Both Rewarding & Taxing

International Women’s Day will always and forever be supremely special to me because the poster of my first film as a director; the first look poster of my film Mrs.Undercover was launched on 8th March, 2023. I turned a producer in the year 2014 which was much before I became a director and I've had many posters and trailers of the content I produced launched throughout my career. But the feelings I felt when my directorial debut film's poster was launched are beyond words. The truth is that I cried rivers all day that day. They were all not happy tears. The battle I fought to be able to make my first film as a director (where I also was the producer) and make sure it sees the light of the day in the best possible capacity was long, tough, painful and immensely taxing.

The Journey Of Making My First Film

During those battles, I discovered how strong I was because I believe there is no force greater than that of love which I had for my film which was entirely my creation. Everyone was congratulating me on the poster launch and everyone was loving it and there was so much happy commotion around me. However, I felt like a deeply wounded; yet victorious warrior that day.

The first look poster of my beautiful film is of the very talented and gorgeous Radhika Apte pointing a rifle, ready to shoot, with rage and determination on her face and the ten hands of Maa Durga around her. Till the day the poster launched, the team at Zee5 and I were constantly thinking of making the first look poster as impactful as possible; like every other filmmaker/producer would. After mutual discussions and discussions with Radhika, we curated this poster for maximum impact commercially especially because it was Women’s Day. It worked brilliantly for us all. I felt my poster for the first time after its launch; is because the poster too is of a wounded yet victorious warrior: representing the girl I am, the girl every woman is!

It may sound like a jaded; done-to-death conversation but the truth remains and no matter how jaded the conversation, the truth does not cease to exist. There is a lot in conversation about equal rights for women, for equal opportunities for women, for upliftment of women, etc. We have come a long way with all sorts of women empowerment; where there are numerous examples of women leading in all walks of life. However, when one delves into the deeper journeys of all those women, one always finds a wounded yet victorious warrior. The wounds are because each of these women has fought long and hard, forded the most dangerous streams, climbed the most difficult mountains and yet been stubborn about what they have wanted, achieved what they have and come out victorious. Most of these innumerable difficulties exist in our lives primarily because we’re women and it's undeniable.

I say this in today’s day and age too because; the truth still prevails that despite the chatter about women's empowerment; the world as a whole is still very much patriarchal. My journey has been no different. At various stages, I have had to battle and continue to battle patriarchy in kaleidoscopic genres.

I am a writer, director and producer; I own a film production company, and when I think so many times purely as a businesswoman, I time and again conclude that patriarchy in itself is such a waste of time. That means women are battling a sheer waste of time just to receive what is fundamentally theirs anyway; which are equal rights and equal opportunities. An added mountain of difficulties in my journey has been and continues to strongly battle me is the fact that I am not from an influential or wealthy background and neither am I attached, married to or dating an influential man. I have been the sole earning member of my family for 19 years now which is more than half my life! I’ve had extra battles in life. I always have wondered how exactly my talent and capability in any way to be judged upon my socio-capitalist standing! However, each time, with each battle; I have come out stronger and always victorious.

Having said everything, the promoters of patriarchy are of all genders. Women are equal contributors to the existence of patriarchy; where definitely, years of socio-economic conditioning are slowly starting to wear off; as of now, mostly in conversation. I have only pride and gratitude for the amount of equal partnership I have with my business partner/ filmmaker Abir Sengupta who co-owns Jaadugar films with me for 14 years now, my dad, my brother, my true friends (who by gender are all men) for all their unwavering faith in me and yet my greatest strength and inspiration is my mother!.

However, as I look back at 8th March 2023, I look at a girl; adjusting her crown herself, standing up for herself, winning every battle alone and coming out victorious; a girl beaming, with tears shining in her eyes: tears of victory, tears of happiness, tears of strength, tears of love, tears of gratitude and tears of determination. The girl I was before this day; a year ago and the girl after; were not the same girls! Last year, on Women's Day, an intrepid was born!

Authored by Anushree Mehta