How Parental Expectations Fuel Imposter Syndrome: A Desi Household Analysis

Imposter syndrome - the emotion of not feeling enough in one’s sense of achievement and accrediting it to factors like favourable outcomes, pure luck or a mere coincidence encompasses the entirety of imposter syndrome. How often have we found ourselves embroiled in this notion? Living in South Asian Households, the practice of playing it small and not owning up to our greatness and competence is something we have been taught, especially as women growing up in a patriarchal household.

In this article, we decode the influence of parents in developing imposter syndrome in the South Asian context and how women are often told to downplay their achievements to be acceptable in society. 

What is imposter syndrome? A South Asian Analysis 

Imposter syndrome refers to the persistent feeling of inadequacy despite clear evidence of one's abilities. This phenomenon often affects high-achieving individuals who attribute their successes to external factors such as luck or the support of others, rather than recognizing their achievements. 

A study focused on Indian college students examined the link between anxiety and imposter syndrome, as well as potential gender differences in its prevalence. Results indicated that while 59% of participants experienced low anxiety levels, more than half (52%) reported significant imposter syndrome. A moderate positive correlation was found between anxiety and imposter syndrome. Additionally, the study revealed that women are more prone to experiencing imposter syndrome than men. The conclusions highlight that heightened imposter syndrome is related to increased anxiety, particularly among female students in academic settings. 

 Although impostor feelings significantly affect college students' adjustment, they are not limited to young adults; Clance and her colleagues initially studied successful women in academia and professional settings. Interest in the impostor phenomenon has grown over the past two decades, likely due to its strong relevance, as many students and professionals relate to these feelings upon learning about it.

In her book about successful women and imposter syndrome, Young (2011) identified five types of imposter competencies: the perfectionist, the expert, the rugged individualist/soloist, the natural genius, and the superwoman/man/student. 

The perfectionist type tends to have a narrow view of success defined by strict standards of 'perfection' and 'exemplary performance.' They often set unrealistic goals for themselves and experience self-doubt and anxiety when they fail to achieve these standards. This group may have control issues, believing that tasks must be completed perfectly and thus prefer to handle them independently. It's important to note that perfectionism differs from the healthy pursuit of success.

Some people think they need to know everything or be talented to feel good about themselves. They can be hard on themselves and often feel like they’re not good enough, especially women who might be told they aren’t as capable. Even if they are experts, they sometimes struggle to see themselves that way.

Lastly, some people think they should just be naturally good at things without having to work hard. They feel embarrassed if they need more time to learn something because they believe being quick and easy is the only way to be smart. Then, some believe they should do everything on their own. They think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and they don’t appreciate teamwork as much. This type of thinking is usually more common in men.

Parenting and Imposter Syndrome in South Asian Countries

Parenting style plays a crucial role in a child's development, as it encompasses various attitudes and authority patterns that impact upbringing identified four major parenting styles: authoritative, characterised by high warmth and low control; overprotective, which combines warmth with excessive control; authoritarian, marked by emotional coldness and strict control; and neglecting, which involves both emotional detachment and a lack of guidance.

As children grow up in South Asian households, the constant pressure to overachieve, be perfect in everything we do and have it all together yet downplay our achievements to be plausible in society is something a lot of individuals have experienced. 

These distinct styles create varying emotional environments that significantly influence a child's psychological growth and behaviour. 

Individuals experiencing impostorism believe they have deceived others about their skills and accomplishments, often viewing themselves as frauds despite evidence of their success. A significant aspect of this syndrome is the intense fear of being exposed as an impostor, leading to anxiety that their perceived competence will be revealed as a façade. Those affected tend to attribute their achievements to external factors like luck or help from others rather than recognizing their abilities or hard work. 

Research emphasises that impostorism is rooted not just in high levels of success but in the cognitive and emotional responses individuals have towards their accomplishments. The inability to internalize success, combined with the fear of being unmasked and the belief of having fooled others, are central features of impostorism that shape self-perceptions.  

Healing from imposter syndrome, especially growing up in a South Asian Household takes time as the age-old conditioning will take its due course of active efforts of appreciating the small wins and honing our skills while embracing the notion that we are our competition and there is no timeline to fulfil other than our own. 

Views expressed by the author are their own.