Five Compromises Women Should Stop Making In Relationships

Women are taught to take up as little space as possible and make compromises in relationships right from a young age. "Let it go already," "Give up that attitude," and "Don't try to be so 'independent'," are the kinds of insolent words of so-called wisdom that are fed into our brains as soon as we are adolescents and have a mind of our own. Our self-identity is seen as arrogance and stifled until we eventually lose ourselves. Thus, well into adulthood, many women make sacrifices and compromises to please their partners, without ever thinking about their own needs.

A study by the dating and networking app Bumble this year highlighted that Gen-Z believes that women are way behind men in the current state of dating and relationships, careers, gender, finances and more, suggesting a "reality gap" in the findings. It is high time we women stop making compromises and speak our truth. Here are 5 compromises that women should stop making in relationships in 2024.

1. Self-identity And Individuality

Women often tend to depend too much on their partner, while their own identity slowly turns into the identity of their relationship. "Me" turns into "Us" and friends and family start to identify changes in our personality, like being unable to decide anything without consulting our partner or letting go of our likes and dislikes according to our partners' choices, these are examples of alarming signs of women's self-identity slipping away.

Changing ourselves for a partner is never a good idea, especially when we stop recognising ourselves. While changing for the better, like going out of our comfort zone and trying new things is a positive, women must remember to draw the line in knowing how much they want to change. Spending some time away from their partner and indulging in activities and hangouts without them is the best way to keep ourselves grounded and have a separate life away from just the relationship. Similarly, having an open discussion about boundaries is of utmost importance for a healthy connection.

2. Social Circle

Just like self-identity, a lot of women begin valuing their romantic partners over their friends and family. Some women are made to believe that being in a relationship is the ultimate goal of socialising and so stop interacting with friends or even new people when they begin dating. Some even give up social media for this reason.

But we forget that their friends and family are equally as important as a romantic relationship, and sometimes even better as romantic relationships are more likely to come to an end. It is advisable to have different social groups to engage in a variety of conversations and interests to keep our minds and relationships refreshed.

3. Expressing Affection

Women making the first move in asking someone out, initiating conversations, and proposing marriage is still something we rarely witness. Even films always portray women playing hard to get or being caught by surprise when proposed to. Thus, in our real society, we women often keep waiting for the partner to approach and initiate.

Pakhi Gaba, a bisexual woman from Pune, told SheThePeople about the challenges she faces in dating women as a woman herself. She said that her female dates often act inapproachable and do not clearly communicate in relationships. "I feel there is so much effort that goes into dating women which they are hesitant to return," she said.

Expressing affection is a beautiful feeling and feels like a weight lifted off our chest, but we women often repress our affection out of fear of coming across as too forward. But what is so wrong with being forward? In 2024, let's vow to never shy away from making the first move because the outcome is never too dangerous; even rejection is a learning experience that we must learn to embrace.

4. Career And Goals

Women must stop forgetting their personal and professional goals when they get into a relationship. We must stop making career decisions based on our partners' location or choices because financial independence is one of the most important ways to feel content with ourselves.

Thereby, when we feel happy with ourselves, we can give our partners the same kind of love and respect that we expect from them. Careers and personal goals can be a way to distract ourselves from being too caught up in a relationship which can turn dull over time. It is also a relief from arguments over finances and sharing expenses, which are some of the most common problems in most relationships.

5. Mental Health

Having a healthy mind is beneficial to both, us and our partners. Our mental health plays a huge role in how much attachment and trust we can give and expect from a person. Mental health and relationships have a symbiotic relationship, where both affect each other.

When we hold ourselves back from ending a relationship that is not working for us anymore, it can hurt both, us and our partners. It becomes difficult to accept love and give love when our minds are playing games on us. Thus, women should stop being afraid of healthy communication over mental well-being, bring up taboo topics to have an open discussion, or even end the relationship if necessary.

Views expressed are the author's own.