Women And Jewellery: Obsession Or Obligation?

Bangles clinking in the hands, jhumkas jingling in the ears and necklace complementing the entire look with its glimmer - this is my regular look. I love wearing jewellery, even on regular days. I feel jewellery defines me, with its aesthetic values. Rarely have I marched out of the door without wearing any of this jewellery. Even while being enclosed in the house, I am never without any piece of jewellery. But is jewellery my obsession or an internalised obligation? The answer to this question lies behind my bracelet and earring jingling as I write this article sitting inside my house. 

Jewellery is often considered an important possession of women. Women are mostly expected to be always decked in jewellery, no matter how minimal it is. From wearing a full hand bangle to a simple bracelet, women are rarely allowed to be 'plain'. This is an obligation. If women wear jewellery as per the expectations of the society, they are obligated. But if women wear jewellery by choice, it is their love and obsession with jewellery. 

I belong to the latter category. Despite being a single woman, I want each part of my body decked with jewellery. Whether I am out for functions or parties or inside my home in pyjamas, I want to hear the jingles of my anklet, my bracelets, and more, always ringing in my ears. 

Women and their relationship with jewellery 

But what do other women feel about jewellery? To know this, SheThePeople reached out to a few women to know what jewellery means to them. Some women expressed their obsession with society’s obligation to put a limit. While other women talked about their disinterest in jewellery, which was only criticised by society. 

Kalyani, a 32-year-old PhD scholar, loves wearing jewellery. "I like long jhumkas, waist chains and other fancy and unique pieces of jewellery." However, Kalyani is not interested in gold jewellery. However, due to societal obligations, she has to wear gold jewellery to function so that society can understand how well-off her family is and the princess-like treatment she receives. 

"I like wearing other kinds of jewellery which aren't considered 'right' in our society. Certain jewellery is confined to married women. When I wear jewellery as per my choice, I am criticised for being too 'over-dressed' for my age and marital status. But if I wear a gold chain, I am automatically accepted by society." 

Kalyani wishes to wear the jewellery she dreams about, but then she says, "For that, I will have to wait for the culture to change or migrate to places that are more accepting." 

Similarly, Sonam Priya, a PhD scholar, says that she loves jewellery. She likes to be loaded with jewellery whenever she goes out. But her obsession, too, has been imposed with a limit. She says, "When I wear a 'lot' of jewellery, people criticise me for being overdressed for a student or an unmarried woman. People say 'she is not interested in studies but only in dressing up'" 

But who said that students cannot wear jewellery? Who defied how much jewellery is too much? Why does society get to define how decked a woman should be? Shringar is a choice, not an obligation of society. 

Relating to this. Shristi Mehta, a 25-year-old PhD scholar, said that she doesn’t like wearing jewellery. Artificial jewellery doesn't suit her. However, her choice again is criticised by society. Priya Shikha, another PhD scholar, too doesn't like wearing jewellery. But her family doesn't like this choice of hers

Shristi said, "Because I often avoid wearing heavy artificial earrings or something, it happens that I am judged for someone who doesn't know how to carry herself at a party." 

Sometimes, to avoid these criticisms, she wears jewellery and then has to face their side effects. 

Shristi made an analogy of women wearing jewellery with advertisements on billboards. She said that women in these advertisements are always dressed up elegantly in sarees, jewellery and more. And that is how society expects women to be. "If some women do not conform to these norms, they face so many taunts that they are fed up and come out burdened with jewellery. 

This was the experience of women who weren't married yet. When unmarried women face so much criticism for their choice of jewellery, one can only imagine how much pressure married women face.

Relationship of married women with jewellery 

Jewellery is mainly considered a symbol of marriage for women. Men are never asked to wear jewellery. But women have to wear at least bangles, earrings and a mangal sutra to denote and respect their marital status. 

Archana* is a married woman but she doesn't like wearing jewellery. But she still does as much as possible. But the society isn't happy with her. Everyone asks her to wear jewellery. They say that her husband does not give her enough money. 

Relating to this, Aarti also said that no matter how much jewellery she wears, society is always dissatisfied. Aarti narrated an incident in which she went to a religious event without bangles. She got scolded and criticised for that. She was told that married women must not be empty-handed. 

Gunjan Gupta, owner of A2G Creative, also added to this by saying that even though she loves wearing jewellery, so its isn't satisfied with her. "I love wearing earrings, so I often forget to wear a neckpiece. When I go out like this, I am criticised for being empty neck." 

Gehna*, who is also married, recounted the same experience. She said, "I don't like wearing anklets and toe-rings. I feel itching when I wear them. Because of this, my in-laws criticise me a lot. Because of their pressure, I have to wear those jewellery irrespective of the side-effects they cause me." 

Society hasn't stopped pressuring women

These anecdotes by women across age groups show that society hasn't stopped pressuring women to behave, dress and act in a certain manner. When society controls the thoughts and dreams of women, defining the right amount of jewellery is a petty thing. But why must women bear even that? 

To dress or not, to speak or not, to marry or not, and to live fully or not are all choices that only women must make. Just like men are free to talk, dress up and behave in whichever way they want, women too have that right. Those who try to snatch that right from women are not only guilty but also uneducated and uncivilised. No matter who and from which palace such criticism emerges, it is wrong and unjust. Jewellery certainly is pleasing to the eyes. But those eyes should be of the one who is wearing the jewellery. 

Divyanshi, a single woman in her late 20s, also loves wearing jewellery. When SheThePeople asked her point of view about jewellery-related criticism of society, she laughed and said, “I don't care what people say. And if they say, they get a mouthful from me. This is me. This is my life. This is my obsession with jewellery. These will never be an obligation.”

Views expressed are the author's own