Getting Rid Of Gender Bias Against Women? Start From The Dining Table

A Twitter post mentioned how it is in women’s blood to be "caretakers." The post by a user named Deity read that when they are cooking for everyone and accidentally prepare lesser quantity, they reduce their consumption and mask it up, saying they aren’t hungry. Isn’t that what women in typical Indian households do?

Reacting to the tweet, another user named Revs tweeted that this reminded her of a matriarch in her family who was an outstanding cook. The user explained that every day after cooking, this woman would take the best part of each dish and keep it in another vessel in the kitchen for women to eat later while keeping the rest of the food on the dining table for men.

Women Always Eat Last

Now that's what I would call a Queen’s move! When it’s the women who toil hard in the scorching heat of the kitchen and cook a variety of dishes to appease every family member despite their hectic schedule, shouldn’t they deserve to eat the best part of the dishes that they have cooked? Why should they be the ones to do all the work and yet eat only the leftovers?

But if we are being honest with ourselves, isn’t that what many of our mothers do? Generations ago, the social norm of women being the ones to cook, serve, and eat leftovers was embedded in society. Whoever implemented this is long gone, but the internalised sexist attitude continues to be largely prevalent in society.

When was the last time we saw our mothers eat the best part of a dish or eat first?

Very rarely does that happen in typical Indian families, for internalised sexism is so deeply ingrained in women’s brains that regardless of how successful they are in their profession or how bold and independent they are, they still forget to prioritise themselves at the dining table.

Why Do Women Put Themselves Last?

This gender disparity starts in childhood for many women. The male children are always served the best part of the dish; they get extra quantity and don’t even have to help out their mother in the kitchen. Female children, on the other hand, are expected to help out their mothers in the kitchen after a certain age, yet they are outrightly discriminated against at the dining table. This having been the norm since childhood, most women don’t even realise how ironic it is that they are the ones that sweat it out in the kitchen and yet don’t get to eat a decent meal.

Patriarchy enters the house through every possible nook and corner and ensures the submissive existence of women. If women are allowed to eat together with men, that means they are gaining an equal seat at the table right from home. So why will the patriarchy let that happen? Hence, it ensures that women are taught that their place is below that of men.

Statistics show that a quarter of Indian women of reproductive age suffer from malnutrition and have a body mass index (BMI) of less than 18.5 kg/m2, which categorises them as underweight. This is one of the primary reasons that women are more vulnerable to having lower immunity, which affects their overall health. It’s about time society sets aside sexist norms and realises that it is endangering the well-being and risking the lives of women with its biases in food.

Breaking free from regressive patriarchal norms should start right at home. Like the tweet pointed out about the matriarch who ensured that women got the best part of the food, women should put their foot down and make sure they get an adequate quantity of quality food. Millennials and GenZers, being the cycle-breaking generation, should ensure their mothers know that they deserve the best and have a right to prioritise themselves. If we don’t work towards sweeping away gender bias right from the dining table, achieving gender equality in a global context will remain a far-fetched dream.

Suggested Reading: Eating Last Has Serious Consequences on Women's Mental Health

Views expressed by the author are their own