Of Coddling Mothers & Grown Manchild: A Debate In Parenting

In a recent concerning incident from Hyderabad, Telangana, a 30-year-old man stripped a woman naked publicly in the presence of his mother. 

While the whole incident is extremely disturbing, what is more, disheartening is the silence of a woman who happened to be the birth-giver of this man.

Mothers & Sons: A Coddling Relationship

Even though, parental responses can vary widely based on the unique dynamics of each family, something that has remained unchanged over the years is a mother coddling her son and showering her with all her love while they raise their daughter to be responsible.

A lot of this bias, I believe stems from the idea of seeking male validation. Women in our society are often conditioned and raised to gain the acceptance of a man; be it their father, brother, boyfriend, husband or son. 

Misogyny & The Role It Plays

Women tend to internalise misogyny from a very young age. Women are often groomed to prioritise selflessness, while men can be brought up with a more self-centred approach, focusing on personal interests as maternal figures handle various responsibilities. However, maternal coddling can inadvertently hinder a man's growth. Meanwhile, societal expectations might dictate that daughters play a role in caregiving for the family as a whole.

Most women in India are recognised and praised for producing a male child. Their sole existence depends on their son. It, therefore, makes it the sole purpose of their existence. 

When a woman who has never experienced acknowledgement suddenly receives praise for giving birth to a son, it's only natural for her to channel her life's purpose into tending to that son. He becomes her 'project,' a pursuit she endeavours to perfect. He becomes her rescuer, as his birth bestows a certain status within her marital family. Consequently, she invests her entire being into nurturing her son, often losing sight of a balanced approach. This leads to neglecting the task of instilling self-sufficiency in him while inadvertently attending to his every need.

Though in today's world, the notion that mothers favour sons in their wrongdoings may be perceived as a stereotype and generalisation that does not apply universally to all mothers. People's behaviours and actions are often influenced by a complex interplay of individual personalities, cultural norms, societal expectations, and personal beliefs. 

It's crucial to recognise that generalising mothers favouring sons in their wrongdoings oversimplifies a complex topic. As society is evolving, and many parents actively work to avoid gender biases and treat their children fairly regardless of their gender, addressing these kinds of stereotypes and biases requires open dialogue, awareness, and efforts to promote equal treatment and opportunities for all children, regardless of their gender.

Views expressed by the author are their own

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