'Apne Liye Kya Banaya?' Dr. Falguni Vasavada Questions Women's Sacrificial Choices

Festivals become joyful not only because of the colours, diyas or family get-togethers. The main ingredient of a memorable festival is cuisine. The vibe of the festivals hit us only when we savour the different varieties of food prepared. This Holi also I treated myself to my favourite dishes prepared by my mother. However, something irked me. My mother prepared various dishes that aligned with my and my father's choices. But she didn't make the one cuisine that she loves the most. Why? Because none of us in the family like it. This act of sacrificing her favourite dishes for the sake of the family happens every day. And yet, I didn't notice that it was wrong. However, the recent video by content creator Dr Falguni Vasavada opened my eyes. 

In the video that has gone viral, Dr Vasavada talked about how women are used to making meals that their families like. They rarely think about their likes and dislikes. While making a fruit salad, Dr Vasavada said that many food bloggers make dishes saying that they are preparing their husband's or children's lunch.

Questions that Dr Falguni Vasavada asks

"But when will you cook for yourself?" Dr Vasavada asks in the video. "Why don't you too eat what you make for your husbands lip-smackingly? Is the lunch prepared only for your husband or children? Is it not for you?" Dr Vasavada poses these very relevant questions. 

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She goes on to say that women usually don't make or have forgotten to make food that they like because their families don't like it. "Even if your family doesn't like your favourite food, you do. So cook, eat and enjoy," she says. She signs off by saying that the fruit salad she is making is not only her husband's favourite but her's too. So she is going to enjoy it. 

Why the reel is very relevant in our society

Dr Vasavada's questions must ring many bells. In our society, women's choices are always placed at the end of the priority list. Especially in the houses, women are supposed to prioritise the lives of their family members. It is okay for women to not eat but the family members must get delicious and hot meals on the table. Women sacrifice their choices so that their families get what they want. Sometimes, the demands of the family are so huge and overwhelming that women lose the energy and interest in doing something for themselves. This ultimately becomes their habit and they forget that they too are individuals. 

Remember the scene from Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahani where Rocky's mother eats cake when the entire family is asleep? She cannot savour that piece of cake in front of her patriarchal family because women are not supposed to enjoy- be it food, sex or life in general. They are supposed to serve and find happiness in families' smiles. 

Also, in the movie Thappad, Amrita says that she indulged herself so much in being a good housewife and caring for her husband's happiness, that she forgot that blue was never her favourite colour. She always liked yellow.  

Accept women's choices selflessly just like they respect yours

But no more now. If families expect women to respect their choices, families too should consider women's choices. Women are not born to cook other's favourite meals. They do it out of love and concern. So shouldn't families too pay back that respect to women? Shouldn't families encourage women to enjoy themselves? Shouldn't families give women the space to explore their likes or revive the things that make them happy? 

Let's start accepting women's choices and rejoicing in it selflessly just like women have been doing for years. 

Views expressed are the author's own.