I Asked Professors To Define Motherhood: Create Your Own Definition, They Said

Motherhood is a nuanced term where every action is not just associated with care and love but a myriad of emotions. Mothers feel more than love and confining their actions to one term does not do justice to them as women and humans, to say the least. They feel anger, guilt, regret, irritation, disgust and anxiety, sometimes all at once. Most mothers even go through postpartum depression as they deal with extreme physical pain but also the mental and emotional turmoil of giving birth after carrying a child for nine months.

It is unbeknown to many how being a mother can take a lot of things from you when on the contrary common conception runs that motherhood just gives endless joy to a mother. While it is true that holding a child in your arms is the most exquisite feeling, it is also demanding and exhausting, especially within the patriarchal family structure where even today, in many homes, a father's responsibility begins and ends with providing material goods for the child. 

In Conversation with Students on Motherhood

The world of academia is not acknowledged as much as it should be, and neither is motherhood. Yet, what is important to note is that many young girls pursuing academia have opinions about motherhood that are bold, educated and scary (for the patriarchy). We asked some students about motherhood and how it correlates with it.

Daisy (anonymous), a first-year student at Jesus and Mary College, Delhi University, said she does not hold any staunch opinions about motherhood. She does not want to become one but that might change in the near future. "I can't see myself becoming a mother but if I do become one rather than my biological child it would be through adoption." When asked what motivates her to adopt a child in future she said, "There are many kids who live in foster homes and orphanages, in need of a home, a family and a mother. It is more practical and objective for me and like the right thing."

A Political Science student, Diva Bhatia was of the opinion that many people do not value motherhood as much as they should. From not acknowledging their mothers enough to assuming love is all it takes to raise a child. She said, "People take motherhood for granted. We consider their actions as duty and something they are obliged to do. Sometimes I judge my mother on the life she had because I can never live up to her experiences. I appreciate motherhood and someday I do want to be a mother but I don't think my actions can ever compare to what my mother did for me."

"Motherhood raises the best of humankind."

Harshini Sakireddy, a first-year Sociology student from Jesus and Mary College believes that we should hold up to our alma mater (a Latin phrase that literally means 'nourishing mother'). She says, "I definitely want to be a mother. I feel that I can nourish and care and do everything in the  motherhood spectrum in a better way." She believes that raising a child is more important and that creates the best of humankind. She adds, "The best people in the country come from the best motherhood. And I think how my mom does how she raised me the alma mater I think we should hold up to that and take that as our inspiration." 

Another student who wishes to remain anonymous believes that "Motherhood is so technicolour. It is a term used in so many different ways because we use mother as a synonym for love and care. I have been a mother since I was 2 years old (laughs), I have a younger sister and I have looked after her like my own little child. To me, motherhood is about embracing your protective, resilient and determined side because all mothers are so."

From diverse and distinct views, another student, Rijuta Joshi, a first-year Political Science student from Jesus and Mary College mentioned how she does not want to be a mother owing to certain difficulties that come along the way. She said, "No, I don't want to be a mother. I hate the institution of marriages and it seems to take too much and I do not wish to get a child out of marriage."

From acknowledging the hardships a woman goes through not only during pregnancy and motherhood but also in a marriage, Rijuta believes that children should not be expected out of marriages but should be an added choice taking into consideration every aspect of raising a child. She further added, "Even if I do get married, children take that time and you can not project your anger and lack of intimacy on the children because that is unhealthy. Plus, childbirth takes a lot of courage and child care is very expensive but I do like children, they are lovely." 

Exploring Motherhood with Professors

Motherhood in the world of academia is incomplete without knowing what professors feel about motherhood. Dr. Sanghamitra Rai Verman is a History Professor at Jesus and Mary College who is also a mother and believes that motherhood is a journey. She said, "I have a grown-up girl who will be in college this year and for me, motherhood is something that completes you. My observation for the past 18 years has been that it can be challenging at times, especially in the beginning but you always grow with it, as a woman, as a person and as a mother. I can say that I have thoroughly enjoyed it and it has been an enriching journey for me which ultimately completes oneself." 

"Have your own definition of motherhood!"

Another Professor (Anonymous) thinks that motherhood can be like a rollercoaster and appreciating every moment of it is necessary. They said, "Motherhood is divine. It makes you humble and grateful but ironically it makes other people ungrateful towards all that you do. The problem lies in how people perceive motherhood to be and not motherhood itself. It can be an adventurous journey for you and your family. You should have your own definition of motherhood and live by it because in every woman there is a different mother."

After knowing their views and bold ideas, we know that motherhood can not be brought down to any one meaning or perception. Motherhood is about being a woman who would go to any lengths to protect, love and appreciate their child. Motherhood is about being angry, feeling guilty, wanting some time for yourself and loving yourself a little more. Motherhood is feeling all and more.

Views expressed are the author's own.