Many influencers from Western countries have tapped into the vintage, or more precisely, the 1950s aesthetic, sharing videos dressed in prim dresses and proper hair and churning butter from scratch. The effort these women put into maintaining an appearance from decades ago and hunting down old-timey furniture from thrift stores or yard sales to decorate their apartments came across as charming. However, a dark side to this trend has emerged on TikTok, where women are adopting the era's societal expectations and family dynamics that feminists have struggled for years to change.
Estee Williams is one such TikToker who considers herself a tradwife, short for 'traditional wife', and uses her platform to share vlogs of her dayβmaking her bed with frilly sheets, getting dressed in a pinup dress, face full of makeup, and curled hair, and then cooking and cleaning before her husband gets home from work. Sounds harmless so far? Williams does not stop there. She also shares conservative relationship advice, regressive gender roles, and tips on being a submissive wife to the Lord (husband).
This phenomenon, epitomized by the advent of the "tradwife," signifies a departure from conventional career-oriented paths in favour of prioritizing home life, family, and personal well-being. While some herald this trend as a refreshing departure from the pressures of contemporary society, others view it through a critical lens, questioning its sustainability and implications for gender equality.
Tradwife's Choice
Williams said in one of her videos that she chose the tradwife lifestyle because she was unsatisfied with her working life before, leaving the children with a nanny and feeling burnout in her career. Her choice to become a homemaker for this reason is commendable, as it is not easy for women to make such life-altering decisions despite suffering for a long time. Also, there is nothing heinous in choosing to be a homemaker. However, her attitude towards it and how she promotes it are regressive and harmful to women's rights.Β
Using a very convincing tone in her videos, Williams promotes traditional gender roles like household chores for women and making money for men. She calls it "the way it was intended to be." Not just Williams, but a lot of other Western influencers, predominantly white women, are embarking on this journey of conservative, traditional homemakerhood.Β
What Tradwives Promote
Some tradwife influencers obliviously share their experience of servitude to their husbands, calling it their "duty to be a caring housewife." It is also to be noted that the tradwife concept is also harmful to men, as the burden of financially supporting the family is solely dumped on them.Β
Tradwives say that it is their ultimate goal in life to submit to their husband. Some even reject women's higher education, under the pretence that "college is where drugs and rampant sex happen." This encouragement to become more conservative and regressive is setting a bad example for not only young social media users but also their children.Β
Tradwife influencers claim that they are the true feminists, as they made the choice not to work. They use the argument of "women's choice" as a jab at women who dismiss their lifestyle. As influencers like Andrew Tate and the like recently began gaining popularity and groomed incels on social media, the tradwife concept is becoming more widely accepted. Many such conservative social media users think of tradwives as the perfect bait to trigger women.Β
Evolving Perspectives on Work and Family Dynamics
Beyond the debate over tradwives and SAHGs lies a broader conversation about the changing nature of work and family life. In recent years, we've seen a shift in priorities, with both men and women reevaluating their career aspirations in favour of a more balanced lifestyle. The pandemic served as a catalyst for this shift, prompting individuals to prioritize personal well-being over professional success. As remote work becomes increasingly common, many are seizing the opportunity to reassess their values and redefine what it means to lead a fulfilling life.
The Reality of Tradwife Life
The rise of tradwives reflects a broader societal shift in attitudes towards work, family, and gender roles. While some women may choose this path as a form of self-care and fulfilment, others find themselves constrained by systemic inequalities and limited options.
What started as a reminder to embrace femininity and feminine vulnerability is now being misrepresented by influencers like these, who teach young children about the heteronormative and stringent orders of society. This lifestyle reeks of privilege and disconnect from the real world, completely negating the struggle that minority women continue to fight for to this day.Β
In less privileged countries, most women already live the so-called aesthetic tradwife lifestyle. Many women in countries like India are still forced to discontinue their education and careers to become homemakers. Some women are subject to dowry, domestic violence, and violence over personal choices like social circle and clothing. So as an Indian woman, it feels ridiculous to come across reels of white women preaching their mentality, which sets feminism back by decades.
Views expressed by the author are their own
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