Friendships With Gay Men Are Extra Special: 5 Women Share Experiences

It is a fact- queer people have so much unconditional love to shower. Besides, the notion a cisgender male and female can never be best friends gets nullified. I am not reiterating that it is impossible for a man and a woman to be just friends, but hard to ignore the potential for a subtle undercurrent of sexual tension when engaging with the opposite gender. With queer men, it becomes easy to maintain a genuine platonic friendship. In my experience, Gay men can be the best male friends that women can ever have. The reason is not just purely platonic friendship, but also a reliable one, an empathetic one, and less of a breakup drama. 

I have seen such friendships both in the films and in real life, I always cherished the beautiful bond they shared. Quite recently, I became friends with a few gay men, so I can make a valid argument and insist that every woman must have a gay male confidant. I can easily give at least half a dozen pointers on what makes them best. I have never felt secure and safe with men. I felt loved, unjudged, vibed instantly and connected on several levels. It felt safe staying out late at night with them, had no fear of being wooed or targeted; the friendship is truly a blessing in disguise. It is not just me, several other women have similar opinions and experiences to share. 

"The straight-queer friendship is unique. We both hate the same things at the same time. For instance, gay friends help identify the right male partner because they know men better than women," said a 29-year-old MNC professional. She is right. Gay men can give the best relationship advice, find you Mr Right and navigate safely and smartly through the relationship. Most of all, they are genuinely concerned and care for you.

Another woman, a 29-year-old IT professional, had a tough time socialising with me. She was in an abusive relationship, and having queer men as friends has helped her a lot. "For the first time, I felt completely peaceful, safe, and comfortable in the company of men. They understand me like no man ever has; they easily empathise with me and connect with me on many levels," she opined.

Women find it easy to share their issues with their gay best friends. A 32-year-old teacher said, "The first thing is the connection with my gay friends. Women and gay men are on the same team. They have similar problems and almost face the same issues and challenges posed by society. So, I have always found an instant connection and vibe match with gay men. Our friendship is too profound and meaningful. My best friends are gay, and I can talk to these men literally about everything, including bedroom stories, with no filters and still not be judged or shamed."

"I realised, on certain levels, there are power dynamics in most male-female friendships, which is never the case between a cisgender woman and a gay man. These men are your allies in every way, and they never try to go to the knight in the shiny armour or saviour mode. The gay men I am friends with are steadfast, reliable, and genuine. They do not have a misogynistic or predatory side because even they are on the receiving end," said a corporate professional.

A 30-year-old writer pointed out that sharing becomes easy. She can literally share everything under the sun with her male queer friends. "I find it very liberating to freely compliment my gay friends and receive genuine appreciation from them. It boosts my self-confidence and makes me feel positive about my body. Also, sharing a healthy level of physical affection is never misinterpreted as flirty. I can call or text them late at night, stay at their place, and ask their suggestions on dating or shopping without giving the wrong impression."

Listening to these women and analysing my own experience, emotional security and stability is something which we all need. Queer men get this, hence it becomes easy to be friends with them and shower all the love you have to give without falling into the trap of power dynamics, fear, and insecurities. Gay men know how to treat women with love, care and respect with no prejudices in them. 

Suggested Reading: BFF Goals: 5 Films To Watch With Your Friends This Friendship Day