Sofia Vergara-Joe Manganiello Divorce Over Parenthood Choice Sets Example

Usually, in our society, children are considered to be the deal-makers of marriages. Couples who are having a hard time together are advised to have kids to improve their marriage. It is believed that kids are the glue of a broken marriage. However, what if a couple doesn't want to have kids? What if even after having kids, things remain the same? Who is to be blamed then? 

Actor Sofia Vergara recently spoke about her divorce from Joe Manganiello. The couple was together for over 10 years. Speaking about the reason behind the divorce, Vergara said, "My marriage broke up because my husband was younger, he wanted to have kids and I didn't want to be an old mom. I feel it's not fair to the baby. I respect whoever does it, but that's not for me anymore."

I am ready to be a grandmother: Sofia Vergara

Best known for her role in the TV series Modern Family, Vergara became a mom at the age of 19 with her first husband Joe Gonzalez. Now her son, Manolo, is 32 years old. "I'm ready to be a grandmother, not a mother. So, if love comes along, he has to come with [his own] children. I'm almost in menopause; it's the natural way of things. When my son becomes a dad, let him bring the baby to me for a while and then I'll give it back to him and go on with my life, that's what I have to do," Vergara added.

Vergara's choice to not have kids is valid for two reasons. First is that she is an individual with the right to choose. It is her body and her life. No one else gets to decide whether she should have kids or not. Secondly, she doesn't owe anyone the responsibility of giving a child. Just because she is a woman, it doesn't mean she is bound to be a mother. 

When a woman should have a baby completely depends on her choice. Of course, menopause and other physical complexities too play a role in deciding a woman's pregnancy. But first and foremost deciding factor is her choice. 

Why Vergara's divorce sets an example

Moreover, it is only logical for Vergara and Joe to separate because they want different things in life. It sets a positive example for other women and couples to not give in to societal pressures and overlook their individual choices. 

In our society, couples don't usually have such choices. Having kids is considered to be a duty of a married couple. A few days ago, I came across a video on YouTube that used an accusatory tone while talking about Bollywood couples who didn't have kids even after a few years of marriage. It is true not just with Bollywood couples but every couple in general.

But who are we to decide what is the right time for a couple to have babies? Who are we to impose pressure on them to become parents? Are we going to take the responsibility of their kids, their finances and other changes that happen after pregnancy? No right? Then why should we judge them for being childless? 

Sofia Vergara's choice to end a marriage because of kids shows that we need to erase the belief that kids are the glue to marriages. It is just not fair for any broken marriage to have kids. It would be difficult not only for the couple but also for the kids. No kid born out of a broken marriage manages to have a normal childhood. So is it fair to make small lives undergo unwanted trauma? 

Views expressed are the author's own.