Is Education Really Responsible For Women Seeking Divorce?

In a recent interview, Sima Taparia, widely known as Sima Aunty, discussed various topics, including divorce and differences between non-resident Indians and Indians.

She stated, "Those whom I have matched haven’t taken a divorce yet. But if it happened, it is because they don’t have patience, flexibility, no willingness to adjust and have egoism. That’s how problems are created. They don’t have the values of giving, sharing and caring.”

Sima Taparia Remark Against Women Who Want Divorce

She also controversially remarked, "People are divorcing because there is no patience, no adjustment, egoism, ladkiya itana padh likh lete hai toh they say why should I listen to anybody (Highly educated girls don’t listen to anybody). Taparia's statement suggesting that highly educated girls don't listen to anybody which is why divorces happen is not only problematic but also unfair on so many levels.

Now, picture your parents, who invested their hard-earned money in your education, hoping that one day you'd be empowered to make the right choices. Then, on the day you decide not to compromise or endure a situation that significantly jeopardises your well-being and happiness and choose to seek a divorce, they wouldn't taunt you with, "Itna padhaya likhaya ta ki tum kisi ka na suno" (We educated you so that you wouldn't listen to anyone). In today's modern world, they'd likely say, "Itna padhaya likhaya ta ki tum khud ki sun sako" (We educated you so that you could listen to yourself).

Navigating the complexities of marriage isn't rocket science, and it's crystal clear that one should never endure a union when faced with situations involving abuse, infidelity, addiction, irreconcilable differences, ceaseless conflicts, emotional disconnect, or crippling financial turmoil that gravely imperils their well-being and happiness.

But let's set aside the hypothetical scenarios and focus squarely on Sima Taparia's matchmaking escapades, where an unsettling twist comes into play. Remember Pradhyuman Maloo, who, after thumbing down an astounding 150 marriage proposals and nurturing sky-high expectations for his ideal life partner, made his debut on the first season of Indian Matchmaking in 2020?

In the second season of 2022, Pradhyuman found love off-screen with actor-model Ashima Chauhaan. But recent reports have sent shockwaves through the nation, as the Mumbai Police has officially registered a First Information Report (FIR) against none other than Pradhyuman Maloo and his family. Why, you ask? Allegations of domestic violence have been levelled against him by his wife, Ashima.

No Patience, No Adjustment, Egoism

So, what might Taparia have to say about this? Does being well-educated mean you should “patiently” tolerate a relationship where your spouse abuses you? Does education teach you to silently “adjust” and conform to society's expectations of being the ideal 'good woman,' enduring hardships without a word? Or does it guide you to create a show filled with countless issues, “egotistically” subtly influencing people in the wrong way? What does education really teach you? Let's dig into this.

Stereotyping Highly Educated Women:

Does education teach you to generalise highly educated women, implying that they are inherently unwilling to listen or adjust? This stereotype is not only inaccurate but also harmful, as it perpetuates biases against educated women. 

Promoting Gender Bias and Sexism:

Does education teach you to reinforce gender bias by implying that women, especially educated ones, should prioritise listening to others over their own needs and well-being? Does it perpetuate the idea that women should always be submissive? Or does it teach you to place the onus on women to make relationships work, ignoring the responsibilities of men in fostering healthy partnerships? Does it teach you that men's opinions and actions are infallible?

Well, even Sima Aunty couldn't make a perfect union between education and the willingness to endure. Education doesn't come with a checkbox for adjustment, tolerance, abuse endurance, or societal submission. It's time we swiped left on these outdated ideas and gave everyone, educated or not, the right to prioritise their happiness and well-being. Just like matchmaking has evolved into a show, our mindsets should also evolve with the times!

Views expressed by the author are their own

Suggested Reading: Kareena Kapoor's 'Family Dining Rule' Is A Reminder For Equality