Rituals Or Triggers? How Cultures Influence Emotions In Women

Take a moment to ponder. Do you know any ritual involving a woman that doesn't include an emotional expression by her? I'd wager you won't find one. Major rituals involving women, such as a girl coming of age, giving away the bride, embracing motherhood, and transitioning into widowhood, are all conducted in a highly dramatic manner to elicit emotions in the woman. While these are undoubtedly “emotional events”, the discussion often neglects the “emotional triggers” found in all of them.

Rituals And Triggers

From announcing a girl's puberty to breaking off a widow’s jewellery, it’s deeply concerning to think how every milestone is made an ‘emotional milestone’, marked by a ritual that has a strong influence on the emotional response of a woman.

These emotional triggers are not exclusive to Indian culture. Let's take an example from a Western culture. A Latin American ritual called Quincenera, akin to a coming-of-age party for a girl, involves the girl's last dance with her dolls, after which she goes on to dance with a young man. This signifies the end of her childhood, made even more emotional with music and tearful onlookers. One might wonder, if not for this display, wouldn't we inherently understand that her childhood has ended?

Surprisingly, milestone events for men attract much less ado. No emotional triggers surround the male puberty, leaving home for jobs, or getting married. Unlike girls who are encouraged to express emotions from childhood, boys seldom enjoy the freedom to cry or experience emotions perceived as feminine.

It seems as though society strives to keep men as far away from emotions as possible, focusing solely on financial success. In a way, they are ‘allowed’ to focus on productivity without letting them embrace their true feelings. In contrast, women are systematically moulded into emotional beings through sociocultural interactions, which often adds emotional baggage to their path forward.

A Possible Theory

During earlier times, women were only confined to caregiving roles, and rituals may be a part of the conditioning that goes into making them suitable for their assigned roles. Societies might not have wanted to leave their homes, children and the elderly in the care of a woman who doesn’t have ‘feminine’ emotions. They might have wanted women to think from their ‘hearts’ and not from their ‘minds’.

And so at every milestone event of a woman, emotional expressions were seen as a key marker, just like how war cries were an essential fabric of men going to war. These expressions groomed them to suit well for their gender roles, subtly influencing the way men and women respond to emotional triggers.

Somehow, the traces of this conditioning might have found their way into modern societies too. Men leaving their hometowns for jobs aren’t treated the same way as women leaving their maternal homes after marriage. Oftentimes, we may argue that both are not the same as men still have an advantage over their maternal family. But when we focus only on the separation part, a lot of men who migrate from their hometowns due to lack of opportunities, never get to return and end up settling in their place of employment, just like how married women aren’t expected to return back to their maternal homes.

Yet, culturally, there are no great displays of emotions when a man leaves for employment, as societies are taught to consciously avoid emotions that might interfere with a man's ability to earn money. The emotions of a male are treated as a private affair between him and his family, and not a publicized affair like the ‘sending-away’ ritual of a married woman.

The impact doesn’t stop with emotions. These emotions in women are also accompanied by guilt if they fail to adhere to any of these set stereotypes. In a way, it deflects their moral compasses to favour society and not their own selves.

Are Rituals Solely Responsible For Women Being Emotional?

Rituals are a beautiful ingredient of any culture. They are often seen as a celebration and coming together of kith and kin, creating loving memories in the hearts of everyone involved. However, the strong presence of triggering customs that are focused solely on women hinders their ability to fully celebrate a milestone without having that sting of pain in their hearts.

While I do not deny the impact of hormones and the individual temperament of a woman in her emotional responses, aren't hormones an oversimplified argument for a complex human brain? Why do we fail to recognize the social construct that influences the emotional state of the woman?

Women are often stereotyped for ‘being emotional’, especially when it comes to leadership or decision-making roles. But the fact that women are thriving in a world full of emotional triggers, and yet find the power to hold their thoughts together often surprises me, and also makes me wonder how far women would have reached without the weight of guilt and emotions that meddle with their minds.

Views expressed are the author's own.