5 'Good Daughter' Stereotypes That Need To Go Out Right Now

A good daughter: Every one of us has strived to be one. We touched the feet of every elder, helped mothers in the kitchen, learned to cook and clean, served meals to our fathers and married a man our parents chose. We accepted everything our parents said as the truth of life. We never questioned any decision they took for us and considered it as our destiny. But what about the tears we shed at night? What about the wounds our soul incurred when slivers of broken dreams pricked it? What about the disgust we felt when that Uncle touched us? What about the clamour in our minds that we controlled through silences and sacrifices? What about the woman behind a good daughter? 

Sounds too gloomy? Well, it is a reality that most women in our country face. The pressure of being a good daughter snatches away their dreams, freedom and the will to retaliate. So should women stop being good daughters? No. Rather, parents need to start redefining who a good daughter is. 

Here's are some of our obeservations 

1. Working in kitchen: Collect all the plates, wash them and put them back into the racks. Wait for the next hour and start banging the ladle against the wok- all this is appreciated. But where does the appreciation go when daughters demand equality? If the sons of the house can freely sit and study or watch TV, why do daughters stay in the kitchen? Is the kitchen too safe for a woman or are the books too scandalous? Oh right! A good daughter can't read or else she will speak. 
2. Suffering from abuse: Bow down and touch the feet of the Uncle who cannot differentiate between blessings and sexual assault. He runs his hands through the back looking for the bra. But the daughter has to be quiet because he is her Uncle. Does being an Uncle gives him the license to abuse women? Daughters wonder about this but what stops her from giving a tight slap to the 'Uncle'? Parents, of course. Let me share a secret, slap the Uncle in private. If he complains, play the card of a good daughter! 
3. Sacrificing dreams: Before the dream to be financially independent unfolds, a good daughter has to wake up, fix the beds and enter into the 'safest place'. While she fries the vegetables, the dreams too burn slowly. But stop right there! Go back to bed and complete your dream. Step out of the house, like your brother did, and chase the dream to be independent. But what about the good daughter? Well, she is still asleep under the blanket covering till head, if you know what I mean.
4. Marriage: As soon as a daughter reaches her 20s, parents start looking for grooms. A good daughter is not supposed to say no or even see the prospective groom. She should blindly trust the choices of her parents. But you know what? Scandalise the grooms that come to see you by telling them about your fictional (or maybe real) boyfriend, your virginity which is no longer there or your habit of consuming intoxicants. The groom will step out of the house without looking back. Oh but what if he reveals all this to your parents? You are a daughter. Make a meal and they will forget. After all, that is what parents want from daughters right?
5. Raising voice against the wrong: This is a tricky one. It is not possible for a daughter to speak up while being quiet. But you must have heard that more than words, actions have an impact. Whenever you see something wrong, stop it by filing complaints secretly. Nowadays, complaints can be registered by concealing the identity of the complainant. If this is too far, use your silence as your weapon. Learn from the wrong that is happening and don't let it repeat in your life. 

Be a good daughter. Support and take care of your parents. But remember that you are a human too. You have the right to make decisions, pursue education and dreams and settle down if and when you want. A daughter should not be forced to sneak out, lie or deceive their parents to be independent. Parents should raise daughters who know that independence is their right and need. Then, she will be a good daughter. Otherwise, just another woman being brainwashed by patriarchy. Dear parents, are you listening?

Views expressed are the author's own.