Man Or Bear, Alright - Why Must Women Choose Between Less Or More Safe?

"Galat Aur Bahut Galat Mein Se Chunna Ho, To Aap Kya Chunenge?" Do you remember this dialogue from the movie Mom? This is what popped into my mind when I came across the viral question of whether women would go into the woods with men or bears. Many women chose bear saying that bears will definitely kill them but it is difficult to understand what goes on in the minds of men. This trend and its lopsided response raise an alarm about the lack of safety for women across the world. It is indeed sad that women prefer to be prey to wild bears rather than being with men. 

Women are not safe on the streets

We live in a society where women cannot walk alone even in the streets that are prohibited for wild animals. Many cases are reported in which women are abducted, raped and murdered while they were just outside for a morning walk, going to school/college/office, playing or just having fun. In fact, women in our society do not have the freedom to loiter around freely. Not that the law or constitution prohibits it, but the danger of some men lurking restricts women's freedom. 

Women are not safe inside their homes

However, if women are not safe outside, are they safe in their homes then? Sadly, not surprisingly though, the answer is no. This blurs the difference between rapists and saviours; between strangers and relatives; between danger and safety.

The insult women face if they oppose rapists

Even if some women do and can protect themselves and file a report against perpetrators, will society believe them? Will society allow them to live peacefully? Women's clothing, behaviour, food choices or even accusations are seen suspiciously to claim that women 'asked for it'. What is next? Their character assassination that makes it difficult for them to step out of the house. 

While the rapists on the other hand either live freely or are given frequent bails in which they tend to commit the crime yet again.

Why do women have to live amidst rape culture in the first place?

When women have to bear so much to oppose the rapists or perpetrators, how many of them will take action? When rapists are supported by society, how many women will fight with the entire society including the legal system which is also partly responsible for the lack of rape complaints? 

The pain which she has already suffered during rape is only intensified and made permanent by social exclusion. Who would want to live with pain throughout their lives? Then it doesn't seem so shocking that women prefer to be killed by bears than be prey to the unpredictable intentions of some men and the patriarchy thriving in society. 

Why should women be responsible for their own safety?

However, why are we asking women to choose between bad and worse? Why aren't we schooling men to be neither bad nor worse? Why aren't we asking men to choose to be good human beings and decent individuals?  

The trend itself is rooted in the rape culture that asks women to decide how to protect themselves. Recently, I wrote a piece on how anti-rape clothings are not the answer to increasing rape cases. So, just imagine, if a woman wears anti-rape clothing, can she choose men over bears? If a woman is 'armed' with anti-rape wear, will she not be raped? And even if she escapes the crime, will the trauma disappear? 

The trend is just pointing out what I said earlier - women can't survive safely, peacefully and respectfully in a patriarchal society. So, they would rather walk into the woods, from what I gather from the Man vs. bear trend. So, here I ask men, will you choose to violate a woman or learn how to respect her?

Views expressed are the author's own.