Explanation Over Ghosting: Man's Denial For Date Is A Green Flag

Have you ever been ghosted? If yes, you know how it feels. If not, then let me help you picture it. Ghosting, as the word clearly shows, is a person you are in contact with disappearing suddenly as if they were a ghost. You keep wondering where the person went when in reality the person has just left you on the edge without giving any reason. It is just like the horror movie plot in which you are accompanied by a person into the wilderness and then suddenly they disappear leaving you all alone in the woods. Scary isn't it? 

Ghosting is the biggest red flag and the worst way to break up. It shows that the person doesn't have the courage to face the reasoning behind breaking up or doesn't care too much about the relationship. Breakups are part of life but they must be carried out in a proper way so that both parties can have a mutual stance. Not that this will reduce the pain of break ups but it will help us in understanding the situation rather than harbouring feelings of deceit and trauma. Ghosting, on the side. give us the same feelings that should be avoided. 

A rare case of a man choosing explanation over ghosting

However, there are people who are sensible enough to not go down the road of ghosting, no matter how enticing it is. I came across a post on Instagram in which a woman talked about how a man with whom she was supposed to go on a first date avoided ghosting and chose to be honest.

She said that a person she never met or gone on a date with was more respectful towards her than any other man she ever dated. 

Do you know what the man said?

He said, "HI. know we've never met so not sure if it's overkill to give an explanation, but prefer to do this over ghosting. I've a lot going on family health wise over the past like month and a half and I've also started talking to someone I dated in the past since they know the situation and all. So I feel like this isn't the right time for me to start seeing someone new, even though Margaritaville and D&B sounds immaculate. Sorry that we just ended up being pen pals. And sorry for the probably unnecessary detailed message." 

Why the message is important for every breakups

The message which was not at all worth seeking an apology is an example of how things can be ended without disrespecting others. It shows that the man respects the woman's emotions and understands the disappointment of being ghosted or stood up. He had the sensitivity and courage to make things clear without hurting the woman. 

It is a misconception that breakups are always messy. It might be hurtful but not will not necessarily leave you in a mess. When breakups are carried out by giving proper reasons and discussing them by sharing mutual feelings, they are clean because they involve mutual understanding. While one partner expresses their feelings and reasons behind parting ways, the other partner listens to them, expresses their feelings, and tries to fix things but steps back if the partner is not convinced. Relationships work only when there is mutual consent. You cannot hold someone without their consent. 

But sadly, as the woman in the question also says, men who break up with respect are like one in thousands. Otherwise, what could be the reason behind the stereotype of messy breakups? 

Views expressed are the author's own.