Is Love Alone Enough To Stay Happy?

Sylvia Plath once wrote, "Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?" It is a human tendency to seek love, understanding and, most importantly, faith. No matter what we do or what we believe in, we all are like wanderers of the desert who consider even a mirage as a reality. In other words, we all seek love even though we know that the person and the feelings are just a fleeting mirage. But that doesn't mean you stop loving. It just means you must accept that love cannot always be the happy ending we crave and, sometimes, even long-lasting. 

Love has many forms. Sometimes, it is the comfort within the arms of your parents; sometimes it is the gossip with your friends and other times it is romantic. Different people consider different forms of love empowering and comforting than the other. However, we all need at least one constant form of love to stay connected with reality. After all, human connection is the only way to understand the value of life. Sometimes, it takes a break-up to understand your worth and sometimes a new relationship makes you realise what happiness feels like. 

Love is not linear. It has its twists and turns. Sometimes, it will make you feel on top of the world and sometimes it will push you into the tunnel. 

Parental Love And Its Challenges

Let's first focus on parental love. Many people have said that parental love is permanent, selfless and unconditional. However, I firmly deny it. Like every human connection, parental love too has conditions. Most parents in Indian society raise their children with love and comfort so that later on the children pay everything back by fulfilling their parents' dreams and desires. While raising their children, parents do not consider the idea that maybe the children might have different opinions, outlooks and dreams. Next is the conflict between parents and children which often leads to toxicity, misunderstandings and even weakening of the bond. 

Friendships And Break-Ups

Let's come to friendships. At times, people befriend others knowing that the bond is temporary. Friendships allow the freedom to enter or walk away whenever people want. This is the reason why after years we sometimes call up our batchmates with whom we shared benches and chai and still feel comfortable. However, it's the friendships that stay longer than the school/college/office days are the ones that become our comfort zones. These friendships too face ups and downs and even break-ups. The conflict of opinions, the unavailability of the other, different goals in life or the blurred boundaries due to intrusiveness commonly lead to problems in such friendships. But if it's unbreakable and real, it remains, always. 

Love Of The Romantic Relationships

Lastly, romantic relationships too are not always happy. The so-called honeymoon period might make you feel you are in the right direction. But later, there are hurdles which might make you regret it. There could be many reasons behind the lumps in your relationship - be it unavailability, misunderstandings, long-distance, incompatibility or even different beliefs and opinions. 

I don't mean to write this to scare people out of relationships or scar the beauty of love. I aim to help people realise that love cannot always provide happiness. It is like the ocean which often becomes tumultuous due to tides or storms. But at the end of the day, just like the ocean, it retains its vastness and serenity. Just like the one waiting for you at the end of the tunnel with a lantern, people who truly love you will come around despite the differences and conflicts. Just don't jump to conclusions or behave impulsively when your bond with the other faces challenges. Wait for the tides to settle down and then make decisions. During the downs of a relationship, both parties should feel bad. If not, maybe it is a sign that the love you shared was not as deep as the ocean. And this love can be romantic, friendly or even parental. Hard to accept? 

So, don't stop looking for love. But when you start loving, be ready to face its struggles. If love provides comfort, it seeks commitment too. I sign off with a quote by Sylvia Plath, "...When at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long." 

 Views expressed are the author's own