In many cultures around the world, expressing emotions is not a comfortable zone for everyone, especially for men. It has always been a particularly difficult area because that is how society has built it up for them. It is okay to express anger, but feelings like sadness and love must always be kept in check. Even today, men are told that being emotional means they are inadequate and not masculine enough. As a result of this stigma, many men feel that it’s not okay to cry. They might hide their emotions, choosing only to cry in private, or not at all.
However, with the increasing discourse around toxic masculinity and mental health, people are finally starting to believe that it should be acceptable for men to cry. And why not? It only shows how well-tuned men can be with their emotions.
The outdated stereotype of 'boys don't cry' was shattered by the Indian cricket team on June 29 as the team lifted the ICC T20 World Cup 2024 trophy, beating South Africa in the final. This World Cup victory was a watershed moment across the nation as the win came after 17 long years. The emotions were also high as Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma called on retirement from their T20I career.
Minutes after announcing his retirement from T20Is and winning the Player of the Match award in the big final, Kohli took time out to video call his family. He spoke with his wife, Anushka Sharma, and their children, unable to hold back tears as he shared the special moment with them from the Kensington Oval ground. The wholesome moment captured on camera has been shared multiple times across social media.
A similar 'men breaking stereotypes' moment occurred when tennis legend Roger Federer stepped into retirement after a legendary 24-year career at the Laver Cup in 2022. The 103-time title winner was robbed of the chance to retire on a high, as he and Rafael Nadal lost to Team World’s Jack Sock and Frances Tiafoe. Federer was left emotional as he bid goodbye to professional tennis.
Roger Federer's Farewell Match
One of the most loved sportspersons, Federer played his last competitive match late on September 22, 2022, at the O2 arena before bidding farewell to a glorious career in front of his contemporaries, his family and his fans.
The victors, the scoreline, and the stats didn’t matter. It all came down to the hugs, hand-holding, and bawling sessions. Or more accurately, the infinite farewells: Federer’s to tennis, to the fans, to his competitors and colleagues.
“It’s been a perfect journey,” Federer said. “I would do it all over again.”
When the match ended, and it was time to hang his boots, Federer hugged Nadal, then Tiafoe and Sock. And began crying. There were plenty of tears to go around; Nadal wiped his own away, too. If there's one thing you all need to watch today, watch this.
23, 2022
Later, Federer's wife, Mirka, their four children — twin girls and twin boys — and his parents joined him on the court for embraces and more tears flew. Members of Team Europe and Team World joined together to hoist Federer up in the air. It was a beautiful sight.
“It does feel like a celebration. It’s exactly what I wanted at the end, exactly what I hoped for,” he said, wiping tears away in his post-match interview with the crowd applauding him supportively to help him through it.
Boys do cry, and so let them
It says a lot when the world's top sportspersons with immense popularity display raw emotions in public, erasing the stereotype of 'boys don't cry'. It allows his followers to understand that it’s okay to be human. It’s acceptable not to be tough all the time and perpetuates to find strength in vulnerability.
We must not equate emotions to gender, so next time, prevent yourself from using phrases like “man up” when someone expresses their feelings in front of you. Because they have gathered a lot of courage to break the century-old stereotype to open up. We are currently living in a society where empathy is lacking, and toxic masculinity is still a rampant problem. If we allow boys to be sensitive and not just tough, we can raise a new generation of men who don’t feel they have to adhere to antiquated cultural constructs. Man up but only like Federer and Nadal.
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