How Bittersweet Bond Between Sisters Becomes Sisterhood

She argues with me but confides all her secrets to me. She mocks my career but asks for money from me. She calls me selfish but borrows or even takes away my cosmetics. She doesn't like the way I dress but cannot shop without me. She resists my rebellious behaviour but is herself an empowered feminist. This is how my relationship with my younger sister is- bitter and sweet, cold like winters and pleasant like springs, hard as stone yet soft as melted butter. Basically, we are opposites tied by love, trust and healthy dependence. 

The relationship between sisters is precious. Not just because they are genetically related but also because they are women with similar struggles and expectations in life. Sisters might fight with each other, like every other sibling do, but when it comes to serious decisions, they support each other like no one else. Be it hiding about each other's boyfriends, be it sneaking each other back at home late at night, be it supporting the elder one when she denies marriage, be it encouraging each other to follow a passion or just being there to wipe the tears when anyone breaks down- sisters are not just beat friends but also each other's saviours. 

Some sisters share a sour bond; Why?

Although, indeed, many sisters do not follow a similar trajectory in their relationship. They fight, feel jealous and always try to show the other in a bad light. However, such bonds or lack of bonds are created by the stereotypes that the successful sister will gain more attention than the other. The competition is between sisters only and not with the brothers because brothers are in a privileged position. 

So sisters who don't get along are influenced by patriarchy that often puts women against themselves to weaken the power of womanhood. 

Find the elephant in the room

But once they identify the patriarchy lurking behind with a smirk while the sisters fight with each other, the relationship will improve, albeit it will preserve the bitter-sweet nature. Such sisters must have open conversations so that they can understand the fault and mend it. You know, another benefit of sisters' relationship is that communicating feelings and having open  conversations is easier than with anybody else. Some might prefer friends over sisters but the truth is the amount of trust you have in your sister- be it because of the genetical bond or sisterhood-is unmatchable. They are more empathetic and caring. They have concerns for your safety and happiness. They live with you and can understand you better. 

You might ask what of the sister complains about you to your parents? Again that would be the conflict caused by patriarchy that makes women compete with each other. 

So, sisters, no matter how older or younger they are, are each others' champions. It is not a coincidence that the term sisterhood has been derived from sister and is a powerful movement against patriarchy. Then why can't sisters too be one of them? 

Views expressed are the author's own.