"Main maike chali jaaungi; Tum dekhte rahiyo" -- Do you remember this classic song? Even though the song is laden with patriarchy, it doesn't stop racing in many people's minds. If you have heard the song, you will notice how the woman's threat to go to her parental house turns the gun at her. In return for the woman's threat, the husband blackmails her by saying that he will chase her with a stick, axe and whatnot. He even challenges her that he will remarry if she doesn't return. Ultimately, the woman concedes and says that she won't go to her maayka. Well, why am I describing this age-old song? Because it still resonates with the present condition.
If you are a social media addict, you must have come across reels in which wives leave for their maayka is seen a chance for their husbands to have fun. It is as if they gained their freedom from the 'control' of their wives. Husbands do whatever they want and in whichever way they want. Creating mess, living on their terms and slouching until their wives return.
These reels are made for comedy and entertainment of viewers. They garner a lot of likes, views and comments. They even go viral with people posting on their stories and relating with the 'struggle'.
Husband-wife jokes getting traction, once again
But..wait..why is the joke being made out of a husband and wife relationship? Doesn't this sound familiar? Of course! From newspapers to family WhatsApp groups, husband-wife jokes have always made people chuckle more than anything else. But, you know what, husband-wife jokes are not funny. They are just a reflection of how society perceives the dynamics of marriage.
Similarly, the idea of husbands having fun when their wives leave for their parental house is not funny. Why? Because it shows the presence of power relations in the relationships. According to the jokes, wives are 'tanav', 'bojh', irritating and dominant just because they demand basic manners and equality. But we all know what the reality is right? Who is dominant and who is submissive
Why do husbands feel happy when their wives go to maayka?
Husbands who think that they are bound by their wives' controlling and possessive behaviour are the ones who are likely to break the commitment of marriage. If a man feels suffocated by his wife's demand for loyalty, equality and partnership, it is obvious that they would look for chances to set themselves free.
On the other hand, wives who exercise their basic rights of visiting their parents are subjected to the deceit of their husbands. Considering wives' departure to mayka as freedom is like stabbing their wives from behind who are under the illusion that their husbands might miss them.
Let's talk about freedom here. What kind of freedom do husbands want with wives not being around? Marriage is about partnership. It is about sharing everything without breaching each other's privacy. But in this case, the husband neither shares the idea of freedom he feels when wives leave nor they tell about the things they do under the garb of freedom. Then, it is obvious that the activities they do under the blanket of freedom are secretive and should be hidden from the wives. Now you can guess what those activities could be.
Stop making funny reels out of serious issues
Maybe these reels are just for fun. But can we ignore the idea of pitching the dynamics of marriage as comic material? The serious issue of probable cheating, lying and considering the partner as a jailer or shackle is not comic material. It is an issue that needs intervention.
Views expressed are the author's own.