Four Signs To Identify Red Flags Within Oneself

Red flags are warnings of the danger that you might fall for if you aren't alert. Just like the red signal of the traffic, red flags ask you to wait, introspect and then drive into the lane when it is free of obstacles. Usually, red flags are found in the partners who are romantically involved. One partner needs to be alert and decisive enough to spot the red flags in the other and walk out before it is too late. However, have you heard of red flags existing within you? Red flags are warnings of danger and they can be anywhere- be it a cliff, a partner or your inner self. 

We live in a society or era where perfectionism has become an obsession. Everyone wants to be perfect which is why people are desperately running behind jobs, earning degrees after degrees and increasing their bank balance. The identity of a person is reduced to their economic value in the capitalist society. However, where has happiness been lost? How many times do people get together for a few laughs and drinks? How often do they spend time with their partners or families? Do they even care about maintaining their personal and professional lives?

No achievement is valuable if it costs your happiness

This is where the red flags in yourself initiate. Being a corporate slave or government puppet, you have forgotten the value of happiness and peace. It is not wrong to focus on career growth but not at the cost of our happiness and peace. The saying that if you work hard today, you can sleep tomorrow is very problematic. Sleeping, resting and relaxing are required today also to keep running in the rat race of success. Don't give in to the idea that youth must work for long hours to gain success. The only mantra to success is hard work that doesn't drain you out of happiness and mental peace. 

Importance of self-love

Then comes self-love. It is practised by a very few people while others roam aimlessly to seek validation. Sel-love is beyond salon appointments, shopping or skin care. It is about embracing yourself with your flaws. It is about accepting your flaws and trying to improve them. If not, then learn to live with it. However, in the world of social media, validation has become important to feel good about yourself. In the obsession with likes and comments, you have forgotten your real self. This is a red flag that will not only harm you but also the people around you. It is as simple as how can you give love to others when you don't love yourself. 

Dealing with emotions and thoughts

When self-love is lacking, the first step is to address your issues,  traumas and failures. This is called managing thoughts and emotions. When you step out of the race, sit down with a diary and note down your thoughts, you will understand the pattern of your thoughts and how they affect your emotions. If you continue to remain emotional and impulsive, it is neither going to benefit you nor anyone around you. So regulating your emotions is important to pick out the red flag of emotional immaturity. 

Being Independent

Last but not least, if you are dependent on others for anything- be it emotional support, financial support, social security or sexual benefits-it is a red flag too. Dependency cripples you and subdues your critical thinking and the courage to take action. You will feel lonely when people you are dependent on disappear- due to cheating or due to death. The loneliness will be aggravated when you try to be independent despite knowing nothing about it. So stop depending on anyone for anything. Start living on your terms without any insecurities. Then the red flag will finally be uprooted. 

Life is ephemeral. It is doomed to a painful end, no matter how happily or sadly you traverse through it. As Sylvia Plath rightly said, "I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again." However, this is also true that we have one life, one individuality and one chance to live our dreams. So why not use it judiciously? Why should we waste it on being red-flagged?

Before looking for red-flags in others, start building yourself up good enough to help or love others. Just pick out every red flag and define your individuality which thrives on independence. Be the frog who helped the scorpion, not the scorpion who is not only dependent, and deceiving but also born to bite. 

Views expressed are the author's own.