Why Is Emotional Support Is Necessary In Relationships?

I come across a lot of posts on social media about how people need to support their partners in their hard times. It feels good to see that people are talking about the importance of understanding a partner's emotional needs rather than ignoring them as if they are invisible. But then, how many people are really following it in real life? Are people aware of the emotional needs of their partners? Or do people still consider that relationships, or even marriages, are all about Netflix and chill? 

A few days ago, my batchmate announced her engagement. She was getting married to her boyfriend after being in a long-term relationship with him. I was truly happy for her as she was elated with her marriage. However, I felt a bit disappointed when I had a close conversation with her about her partner. With a lot of excitement, I expressed to her that she was so lucky to be in a loving relationship. However, she confided in me saying, "There is nothing in this world called love. Everything revolves around money."

Although I didn't ask anything further, I felt as if someone busted my bubble and pushed me into the dark reality. Has the world really forgotten how to love?

Love in pictures vs love in reality 

We all see pictures of celebrity couples and dream of having a relationship like them. But none of us think about the situation behind the pictures. It is very easy to post cosy pictures with cheezy romantic captions complemented by Arjit Singh's popular songs. But it is equally hard to maintain that cosiness in the real life. 

When I talk about cosiness, it is not just about shrinking yourself with your partner in the same blanket by the fireside. It is about crying, breaking down and being understood within that cosiness. In today's day and age, stress and depression have become very common. Every person, irrespective of gender, is dealing with certain traumas and stress but most of them don't know how to vent them out. Some tend to isolate themselves others tend to turn the stress into anger and frustration and yell at others. Of course, these outbursts of anger or loneliness require professional help but sometimes a warm hug from the loved one goes a long way in helping to cope.

Emotional support in relationships 

Relationships should not be limited to the days when couples share a healthy meal, a good laugh and satisfied sex. They should become a space in which people feel comfortable, free and protected. People should be able to express their feelings without the fear of being judged. One should not try to rationalise the other when they facing emotional upheaval. Neither should one show irritation while the other faces frequent breakdowns. Rather, every person should sit and talk to their partners who feel emotional baggage. 

Have you seen an entangled ball of wool? It requires two people to detangle it and make a clean ball out of it. Moreover, it is a long process that requires a lot of patience. People who face emotional imbalance are also like this messed ball of wool. Sometimes, their worries won't even make sense. However, it is the partner's responsibility to not undermine their problems. Partners need to help those people solve the mess without being dominant, frustrated or over-rationalising things. Partners need to make those people realise that they are in the mess together. 

Holding hands, kissing or hugging might not always be about love. But wiping tears, making the favourite meal and understanding the other are definitely signs of deep love and compassion.

Views expressed are the author's own.