Delete For Everyone? Is Social Media Repressing Our Emotions?

Do you often write a long message and then delete and replace it with a word or a sentence? Do you delete an emotional rant and reply in casual words? Well, I guess all of us do it. While social media has increased our proximity to our loved ones, it has also made us pretentious. Social media and its user-friendly features have become an escape mechanism for us who hesitate to express our emotions. Imagine this. What if there was no delete button? How then will you 'unsend' the long emotional messages? 

Every relationship comes across a point where there is a need to have clear communication. Usually, when the people involved in the relationship live together, they can confront each other one day no matter how much they delay or ignore it. But when relationships are separated by distance and connected by social media, clear communication rarely finds a space. 

How people are using social media to create complexities in relationship

Social media connects people who are far away from each other. But today, it helps those people cover up their emotions and reality and pretend to be different. I am not referring to the filters of social media or the deceiving perception of users that others are having a better life. My aim is to address the complexity that social media creates in intimate relationships. 

Even if two people are connected through messaging apps, they still are oblivious to each other's reality. It is very easy to type something while you are engaged in an entirely different business. The receiver of the message has no option but to believe the sender. Yes, asking for photos can be a reality check. But 'wouldn't that be too desperate or suspicious?' stops us. 

The option of social media to hide status, privatise the account or delete the sent messages further creates a mess in the relationships. You send a message and wait for the reply for hours. However, the other person has disabled the option that allows the senders to see whether the receiver has seen the message or not. So even if the receiver did see the message, they have complete freedom to ignore it. This obviously creates a communication gap. 

The tedious effort of writing long messages laden with emotions- be it of love, hatred or anger is undone by just one button. People refrain from sharing their emotional outbursts with people they are connected. Of course, sharing emotional outbursts with anyone is not always right. But when we do, the person is someone whom we trust or love. That's why long messages are always written for those who are close to us. 

Social media has no word limit to writing messages. This feature helps us write down all our emotions, no matter how long the message becomes. But what is the use of this feature if we don't send those messages? Rather, we resort to another feature to escape the confrontation that the long message might lead to- the delete button.

Suppose a person sends the message and waits for the reply. The other person might not care and reply in just one sentence or, even worse, one word. Here we must ask- why doesn't social media have a limit for the minimum number of words written in a message? Another scenario could be that the person who sent the message becomes too overwhelmed by the anxiety of facing the reply that they block the other person. Hence no confrontation. No conversation. 

Who is to be blamed?

Isn't it paradoxical that the space specially designed for clear conversation allows users to escape it? The very features tailored to the benefits and safety of users are now being used to repress emotions, avoid conversations and pretend. So who is to be blamed here? The social media for being too accessible and lenient? Or the users for turning space to connect with others into a medium to hide and escape? 

Ideally, no one. Social media introduces new features only to be user-friendly which is necessary and its purpose. Consequently, social media users are free to use the features however they want. 

Now your question must be 'What is your point then?' The point is that there is no point in pitting social media against people who use it. The war is not between these two. It is between a person and their conscience and a person and their loved ones.

The reality check we all need

Until and unless a person learns to face their reality, accept their emotions and be confident about expressing them, they will always be in the dilemma of pressing the send or delete button. They need to understand that deleting the message wouldn't delete the emotions. Or blocking the person without confrontation will not provide closure. It is only when people change themselves in real life, they can make the right use of social media. 

Social media might be a digital platform for connection. But its impact is on the real life. Just like social media makes conversation and connection easier, why can't we adopt that ease in real life? 

Views expressed are the author's own.