Block, Ignore Or Report: Are These The Only Solution For Online Abuse?

It was a regular work day when I received a call from an unknown number. Assuming that it could be from a company or a PR agency, I picked up the call. The other person asked who he was talking to. Growing suspicious, I asked that question back. He said some names and in the background, I could hear laughs. I was going to cut the call saying it was a wrong number, but the man on the other side insisted on talking more. He asked me not to cut the call and continue talking. I became uncomfortable and realised it was a prank. I immediately disconnected the call. For a minute, I was numb. His voice, his tone of speaking everything echoed in my mind. Was I just targeted to abuse? I told my friend about this call and he immediately asked me to block him. Well, I had already done it. But did the fear go? Did the discomfort I was feeling disappear? No. 

This is not the first time that I witnessed such abuse. When I was a child, my mother used to get these calls a lot. When my mother refused to talk, those callers insisted on speaking to her daughters. One day I picked up the call and threatened them to complain to the police. But they didn't seem to take it seriously. They said, "Dobara bolo na. English mein." This was before WhatsApp. But when it did, things became even more worse. My mother's WhatsApp was filled with unknown people sending her lewd videos and photos. She is too ignorant to check her account every day. But when I did, I was shocked how low people can go to abuse a woman online. Of course, I blocked those numbers. But then what? Did the fact that my mother was targeted by those sex predators change? Did they receive any penalisation for such behaviour? What is the guarantee that those men won't slip into the DMs of other women or target my mother again through a different number or identity? 

With the advance of technology, patriarchy is developing new thorns

As technology is growing, the patriarchy too is finding new ways to control and harass women. Deepfake videos, trolling and other misuse of AI have increased in the past few days. Earlier, when there was no technology, men harassed women directly. Today, when technology is trying to protect women through privacy policies, online legal help and more, sexual predators are still reaching out to women. The only difference is that this time they mask themselves as one of the users of the advanced technology. 

Social media influencers have the worst experience of this increased online harassment. They see hate comments, unsolicited dick picks, abuse and rape threats almost every day. At times, this hatred affects them so much that they are forced to introspect and control their speech. But some women influencers face hate not because of what they say or propagate but just because they are women. Being a public figure comes at a lot of cost for women. Many social media users consider such women as public property whom they can judge, sexualise and objectify in whichever way they want. 

Why blocking, censoring, reporting or ignoring are not the best way to deal with online hate?

But is blocking such users really the solution to it? Or is not engaging with those commenters an effective way to stop them from spewing hate? 

In an interview, Mallika Dua rightly said that hate mongers on social media consider public figures' accounts as a toilet. Standing on the ground of 'freedom of speech', these hate mongers dump useless comments on influencer's social media comments. Moreover, the privacy policies have further taken them away from the social reality making it easy to slip into anyone's DM. 

But, isn't the same ground of freedom of speech on which the influencers or common women using social media stand? Then how come hatemongers get the right to shut them up? 

Rather than asking women who get abused or trolled to ignore, block or report the account, we need to find an approach that asks the hatemongers to stop. When we ask women to take measures for their safety, we are automatically normalising the hateful behaviour of people on social media. Whether it is blocking, reporting or ignoring, the damage has already been done. The woman has already seen the hate targeted towards her and is already feeling afraid and less confident. It is time we make ways to not let this damage happen in the first place. And even if it does, we cannot add salt to it by asking women to be 'careful'. This will only send them on a guilt trip which will end with them not feeling free and safe even in the virtual world. 

The problem is not that she is a woman and is trying to break the rules, the problem is that the hatemonger is forgetting that women are humans too. Women are breaking glass ceilings, patriarchal stereotypes and gender norms through their presence in the virtual world. Hatemongers are breaking the law of respecting humans, their privacy, their freedom of speech and their identity. Who is wrong here? And who should undergo introspection and be careful of what they say?

Views expressed are the author's own.