Are You A Feminist? 5 Actions That Negate Feminism

Feminism empowers you to expand your boundaries, break them, and live a life based on your choices. It also empowers you to fight for equality as its true meaning lies in equal treatment and opportunities for all, irrespective of gender. But what about the hypocritical moments when your actions negate feminism? Let's take a look at five times certain actions negate feminism and why they need a hard assessment. 

Seeking validation from men

Many women still rely on men's compliments to feel beautiful. Even though they might be independent and powerful feminists, validation from men boosts their confidence. Dear women, if you wait for a man to come into your life to make you feel beautiful, what is the meaning of independence? Moreover, if you want to be single, how would you then feel beautiful? Feminism is about women’s empowerment. It will mean nothing if a woman seeks happiness in male validation. 

Ignoring toxicity in relationships

Often, when women are in relationships, they tend to ignore toxicity to avoid the pain of heartbreak. They love their partners so much that they are blinded to their toxic behaviour. Women normalise those behaviours as mood swings, stress or conditioning. Ultimately, women have to face the consequences.

Feminism never entails that a woman must suffer in a toxic relationship. Rather it works as an eye-opener for women who are stuck in toxicity. So, use your feminist identity as an eye-opener and seek justice. Don’t let feminism take a backseat just because you are in love. 

Cooking is not my job - okay, but it's still a life skill

For ages, women have been the only ones responsible for kitchen work. Feminism stepped in to free women from the confines of the kitchen. Now, women are soaring with their employment and education. But does that mean women should forsake cooking? No. 

Cooking is a basic survival skill. It is necessary for every human, irrespective of gender. If you are a feminist, you must know that feminism wanted to give women access to the world of empowerment. But it doesn't negate the idea that cooking is an essential skill that everyone must possess. It says that cooking is not only a woman's responsibility but of everyone who lives in the household.  

Not expressing sexual desires

No matter how independent a woman is, when it comes to sex, many are still submissive, ignorant and hesitant. Despite believing in feminism, many women hesitate to share their sexual desires with their partners. They rather go with whatever their partners want. Female orgasm, masturbation and dominance in sex are still uncovered concepts for many. 

One of feminism’s many ideas is to provide women with sexual liberation. French philosopher and writer Simone de Beauvoir also said that the complete independence of a woman includes economic independence, voting rights and sexual liberty. If you keep your feminism out of the bedroom, can you truly call yourself a feminist? 

Not opposing the patriarchy at home

Patriarchy at home is a very common concept. Parents still follow archaic beliefs and expect their children to conform to them. Some women, despite being empowered, do not raise questions about patriarchy in their own homes. Be it respect or generational differences, women refrain from arguing or trying to change their parents’ beliefs. 

However, if you can’t bring a revolution at home, how will you face the entire world? Feminism serves its purpose when it impacts everyone, irrespective of age and generation. Moreover, if the older generation is untouched by feminism, they will influence the current generation based on the same seniority. So, if you call yourself a feminist, don’t make your feminism selective. 

Feminism is not just a theory. It is a practice. If you are a feminist, practice it in every part of your life. Don’t let feminism die out by reducing it to a fancy term. Feminism has the power to revolutionise the society. Use it as a weapon to revolutionise your life, at least.  

Views expressed are the author's own.