Man Asks Wife To Quit Job & 'Manage Home'; She Demands Half His Business

Let's start with a question. Would you agree to be a homemaker if you have a thriving career? It is a known fact that homemakers are not paid for their work. In fact, a homemaker is not even considered a career-oriented person. Anyone who signs up for being a homemaker is called out for sitting at home and "doing nothing." Some even say that homemakers waste their skills and education. In such a scenario, is it viable to quit a high-paid job and become an unpaid homemaker? A woman recently expressed a similar concern when her husband asked her to quit her job and stay at home to look after the kids. Disappointed by the idea of losing financial and career-based independence, she demanded half of her husband's business as the charge of being a homemaker.

The woman's demand and the reasoning behind it

The woman in question posted her experience on Reddit and said that her husband wants her to quit her job and become a homemaker. She quoted her husband and said that he is capable of earning a good living for the family. However, to relieve his stress and anxiety about the upbringing of children in the absence of both parents, he asked her to take care of their children. 

The couple has two children with a third one on the way. Disturbed by the snatched financial independence, the woman demanded a charge for being a homemaker which was half of her husband's property. 

The post read, "After a few weeks thinking I told him that I would agree but only if I get 1/2 his company. He was surprised by this but I explained further that the more I stay at home the less chance I would have to find a well-paying job should we ever divorce because I would have less merits, while he would stay making more money each year. So I want half of the company. If we never divorce, which is the goal of all marriages then it wouldn’t matter but should it end, it would be the price of me staying home and raising our children so he could be less worried and stressed out (his words, that he would be less anxious and stressed out if he knew they were with me rather than with strangers in daycare or nannies). When I told my friends they called me the ass***e. My best friend was very angry and called me disgusting. So I am taken aback a little.”

In an update to her post, the woman said that her husband agreed to her demand but gave her only 49 per cent of his company. 

Very often, the courts in India have reiterated that homemakers must be valued as much as an employee who brings money home. Being Homemakers or stay-at-home parents has been recognised as a full-time job by another court's judgement. However, the ground reality remains the same. 

The huge difference between a homemaker's work and a paid employee's job

Homemakers are taken for granted. Their work is not valued and neither do they receive any freedom or independence. Homemakers are expected to work throughout the day with no leaves or weekends. Despite this, even once a homemaker leaves their work and relax, they are questioned for not fulfilling their duties. 

An employee has fixed working hours after which they are free to do anything they want. They have the freedom to take leaves and the privilege of weekends. Clearly, the job of a homemaker is much more taxing and huge than a salaried person. Then why don't homemakers gain compensation for their labour? 

Undeniably, money is the definition of power. The one who has money can control those who don't. In the case above, the husband proudly says that his earnings are enough to run the family and so the woman's job is of no use. This indicates the presence of power relations- based on money and patriarchy. 

Women work not just to support their partners in financial management. They work to make themselves independent. They also want the power that money gives. No one wants to be dependent on anyone for anything. Dependence can never gain you anything apart from forced submission. So, that is another reason why women want to earn. 

Need to monetise homemakers

Now, let's keep the career of a woman aside and talk about their role as homemakers. But...wait..can we keep career aside and talk about homemakers? No. Being a homemaker is as difficult as thriving in a career. Not everyone can manage a kitchen, cleaning, catering to the needs of the family and much more in one day. This requires expertise and experience. There might be no course for homemakers but the sacrifices of capabilities to succeed in the traditional job market is nothing less than the hard work required in education. Then how is being a homemaker, not a career? 

There is still no policy in place to monetise homemakers. In that case, it is only right to demand the salary or compensation of being a homemaker from the earning husband. Why must the husband alone have financial independence and money power?

So, I totally agree with the woman's demand. Leaving her paid job, and working as a homemaker for years with her financial agency snatched from her- is an exploitation of the woman based on her gender. If the husband was really concerned about children, he also could have quit his job rather than assuming that a woman's career and earnings can never be enough to run a household. If being a homemaker cannot be considered as a paid job, stop asking anyone to do it. If you can't work for free, how can you expect others to spend their entire day in unpaid labour? 

Views expressed are the author's own.