Ohio Toddler's Death Highlights Urgent Need For Parents' Mental Health Support

In a heartbreaking incident, a toddler named Jailyn lost her life while her mother left her alone at home for a 10-day summer vacation. Kristel Candelario had left Jailyn alone in a playpen with a few bottles of milk. However, when she returned, she found the 18-month load covered in urine and faeces some of which were smothered in her mouth and stuck in her fingernails. The mother has been sentenced to life in prison with no parole. 

The prosecutor said that a neighbour's camera recorded the screams of the toddler often, even at 1 am, two days after the mother left. However, Candelario was in Puerto Rico with a male friend when her child was suffering due to isolation and starvation. After a few days at the beach and one more atop in Detriot, the mother returned to the dead body of her daughter. 

Forensic pathologist Elizabeth Mooney told the Cleveland courtroom that toddlers face extreme separation anxiety between nine to 18 months of age. Recalling the pain that Jailyn must have experienced, Mooney said, "The pain and suffering she endured lasted not only hours, not days, but possibly even a week.” She further added, "This feeling of abandonment for days on end, coupled with the pain of starvation and extreme thirst is a type of suffering I don’t think any of us could ever fully fathom.”

Assistant Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Anna Faraglia played the video of the mother rushing with her suitcase in a car on June 6 and returning back on June 16. Minutes after returning, she called 911 and pleaded fro help to save her daughter's life. She allegedly changed Jailyn's filthy clothes and dressed her in clean ones before the emergency responders arrived. But the clean clothes couldn't hide the horror that Jailyn had gone through. 

Anna Faraglia said that the baby was found lying on a mattress that was covered with urines and faeces. “Animals take care of their infants better,” she said.

With sunken eyes, dried lips and faecal matter in her mouth and fingernails, the girl was emaciated, Mooney said. She also added that Jailyn weighed seven pounds less than her weight two months ago. Investigators also added that the mother had left the baby alone again two days just before leaving for vacation. However, Candelario's parents pleaded mercy from the judge. 

Ketty Torres, Candelario's mother said that her daughter was facing health issues including mental health illness and fainting spells. When she stopped taking medicines, her anxiety and depression worsened making her unable to make sound decisions. 

Candelario on the other hand said that she asks for forgiveness everyday and believes that the God and Jailyn have forgiven her. “I am not trying to justify my actions, but nobody knew how much I was suffering and what I was going through,” she said. 

But Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Court Judge Brendan Sheeha rejected her plea as he handed down the life sentence. He said that Candelario had left her child trapped in a tiny prison while she was out having fun. 

“The bond between a mother and a child is one of the most purest and most sacred bonds. It’s a relationship built on love, trust, and unwavering protection. … You committed the ultimate act of betrayal,” he said. He further added, "That little baby persevered, waiting for someone to save her. And you could have done that with a simple phone call. Instead, I see photos of you on a beach while your child was eating her own feces in an attempt to survive.”

“Just as you didn’t let Jailyn out of her confinement until she died, so too you should spend the rest of your life in a cell without freedom,” Sheehan said. “The only difference is that prison will at least feed you.”

What this case should teach us?

True, no child should ever die that way. The horror of Jailyn's tragic death reminds us of the problems that children might face if their parents have unresolved personal issues. But in the fight to save a baby's life, can we forget the issues that the parent is facing? Should we not dwell with equal seriousness on the crippling issues that the parents might be facing? Just because there is a child to take care of, should parents forget about their own pains and ailments? 

Our society believes that having children cures every problem- be it personal, professional or related to relationships. But that's not true. Having children when the couple is just not ready- mentally or physically- only worsens the situation. More than anything else, it puts the child's life in danger. Some do not survive and some who manage to survive grow up with unerasable traumas. 

We need to understand that parenting is a selfless responsibility. One has to truly invest in it so that the baby doesn't suffer due to the residual traumas of the parents. 

 We cannot bring back babies like Jailyn but we can ensure that more such tragedy doesn't happen by educating society on the idea of parenthood. If you cannot take care of yourself as a human, don't be a parent. 

Views expressed are the author's own.